By Wm. David Akers
Disclaimer: George Lucas and Bioware own everything. I’m merely having some fun in their
playground. Besides which, I’m just a
poor, unemployed college graduate so suing me will get you nothing but the
rights to my student loan payments.
Author’s Note: Chapter 7 has a NC-17 RATING! Just because you can never say this enough,
if you’re under 18, DON’T READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At the
time, I couldn’t understand how it happened.
It goes against all that I was raised to believe. A Jedi does not love. It is too dangerous. While it may be a positive emotion, it is so
easily twisted in jealousy, anger, and hatred that it is to be avoided. Emotional attachments are a danger, an easy
road down to the Dark Side. A Jedi must
be at peace, free of emotion and passion.
Yet I cannot change the fact that I have fallen in love, against all the
teachings and wisdom of the Order.
When did
this happen? When did I decide my
feelings were more important than the tenets of Council? I am Bastila Shan, a padawan of the Jedi
Order. For as long as I could remember,
the Order had been my life. It seemed
like a lifetime ago, that I lived on Talravin with my parents. My father was a historian and an
explorer. My mother was his
assistant. They had met during school
and had been partners ever since, my father liked to joke. At age five, I was given to the Jedi Order at
my mother’s insistence. There I trained
under Master Vrook Lamar at the Jedi enclave on Dantooine. The Jedi believed I had a great gift in the
Force, though it took years for it to fully manifest itself. Just after the close of the Mandalorian Wars,
I had my first manifestation of Battle Meditation, a rare gift that allows the
user to influence of even large-scale battles.
The
Mandalorian Wars was where everything had begun to go wrong. The Mandalorians, an aggressive near-Human
race that lived beyond the Outer Rim of civilized space, had begun attacking
worlds along the Rim. At first the
Republic cared little for turmoil so far from their borders. The Mandalorians did not stay on the
outskirts of known space for long. Soon
they were attacking the outermost systems of the Republic.
The Senate
came to the Jedi Council on Coruscant and begged the Order for assistance. After almost a week of deliberation, Master
Nomi Sunrider of the High Council of Coruscant delivered their response to the
Senate personally: the Jedi could not
provide aid to the Republic at this time.
When pressed for a reason, all the Council would say is that there was a
dark shadow in the Force over the Outer Rim and to rush headlong into a war out
there might spell disaster if the Jedi were not properly prepared.
Suffice
to say, the Senate was not pleased with this news, nor were many of the
order. One knight, Revan, the youngest
knight in the history of the Jedi at only age 20, began to protest against this
lack of action. In the space of a month,
he had rallied nearly a third of the Jedi on Coruscant to his cause. Without the sanction of the Council, he and
his friend, Malak, led these Jedi to assist the Republic against the
Mandalorian threat.
The
Council renounced these Jedi as renegade, and provided them no support or
advice, which made little difference.
Revan was a tactical genius; his passion for history and culture had
taught him a great deal about warfare, and soon he turned the Mandalorians own
tactics against them. He crafted a set
of blue and silver battle armor, complete with mask, in a style reminiscent of
the Mandalorians. His masked visage
became feared by all who stood against him, and some say, even his allies.
He
stripped worlds of their defenses to protect “essential” systems, and lured the
enemy into ambushes and into over-extending their lines. He calculated rightly that the Mandalorians
had little interest in worlds that could not fight back, and devoted their
attention to worlds they felt would provide more a challenge to their perverse sense
of honor. The High Council looked on
with trepidation at his actions, but the Senate of the Republic offered only
praise and commendations.
For
almost four years, he waged a war of attrition against the Mandalorians. Finally he forced a confrontation over the
world of Malachor V. The Mandalorians
had gathered all their number for one massive assault, intended to bring about
total victory or defeat. They
outnumbered the Republic forces by almost five to one. Revan had somehow planned for even this. His engineers had assembled a shadow gravity
generator on a scale unseen, to create a gravimetric storm that sheared many of
the enemy ships into shrapnel. It also
had the unpredicted effect of shattering the nearby world’s own delicate
gravitational balance and Malachor V and its population of 100 million
sentients died to bring Revan his victory.
The
devastation was so shocking that Revan offered a personal duel to Mandalore, to
bring an end to the war. That duel has
become a legend in only a few short years.
I won’t bore you with reciting what you doubtlessly already have heard a
hundred times in cantinas across the galaxy; Revan’s victory is a matter of
historical fact. The Mandalorians
quietly surrendered to the man who had so thoroughly bested them. To drive home this fact, he ordered the
survivors disarmed and had their weapons and Basilisk war droids destroyed in
front of them, before letting them return to their worlds.
It should
have ended there, but it didn’t. The
next day, Revan took his most of his fleet and departed for the Unknown
Regions. His last communiqué to the
Senate stated that not all the Mandalorians had surrendered. He intended to pursue them should they decide
to continue their harassment of innocent worlds. A few ships chose to return home, or were too
badly damaged to undertake the expedition, led by Admiral Saul Karath. They were treated to a hero’s welcome and
many chose to retire after that. It
seemed that we had a happy ending, but the masters knew better.
Among the
returning heroes was one of Revan’s foremost generals, Nalto Kann, the first
and only Mandalorian Jedi, raised by the Order after he was found orphaned on a
distant world after Trandoshan raiders had devastated its colony. He was the only Jedi to return from the war,
and he offered himself up to the Council for judgment. No one knows exactly what took place but
those already behind the sealed doors of the council chambers. All that is known is that Kann was exiled
beyond the bounds of Republic space.
Some say the Council even stripped him of his ability to use the Force,
a punishment not used since the fall of Ulic Qel-Droma during the war with Exar
Kun. This tale, however, is not about
Kann.
Just a
year later, the Republic was suddenly struck by a two-pronged invasion force
from the Unknown Regions. Half a dozen
systems fell within a matter of days.
Reports of alien ships with advanced technology poured in from survivors. It was believed a new race had decided to
make its presence known. A few days
after the first attacks, the Senate received a communiqué from Revan, who had
announced to all that he had taken the title Dark Lord of the Sith! His armor now stained black, he proclaimed
his intention to conquer the Republic and offered them a chance to surrender
unconditionally. The saviors of the
Republic had returned home at last: as conquerors.
That was
two years ago. Since then, the Republic
had fought a slowly losing war against the newly christened Darth Revan and his
apprentice, Darth Malak. Obviously, the
Jedi did not remain absent in this war.
I was summoned by the Council to assist the Republic with my Battle
Meditation. With my help, the Sith were
kept from achieving total victory, though all knew it was only a matter of
time.
I will
never forget that morning. I had just
woken up and gotten out of the ‘fresher.
I had just finished tying my dark brown hair into the intricate bun with
two short tails I had favored since I was a girl. My mother had been the one to show me how to
braid it in this fashion. Despite that,
I liked it, and kept it, as one of the few sentimental reminders of my life
before joining the order. I wore my tan
and brown leather dueling jumpsuit as opposed to a standard Jedi’s robe favored
by most. I knew I was looked at
unfavorably by some for it, but it was Master Vrook permitted it. I never really understood why, considering
how conservative he was.
My master
came to my quarters earlier than usual.
He just walked in unannounced, as was his habit. It was his way of testing our
adaptability. He was an older man,
balding, with a heavily worn face that told a lifetime of struggle. He had fought
in the Exar Kun War and partaken in numerous struggles during his tenure as a
master. I could tell he was in a
particularly dark mood. “Bastila, I need
you to come with me. The council has
requested your presence.” With that
terse phrase, he turned and left as abruptly as he had entered. I followed him quickly, knowing that was what
he expected of me.
The Jedi
Council of the Dantooine Enclave should not be mistaken for the High Council on
Coruscant. Every enclave and academy has
a ruling council. However, the Dantooine
Enclave’s council was made of up two members who also had seats on the High
Council of Coruscant, though they chose to reside elsewhere. One was my master, Vrook Lamar, who I have
already made mention of. The other was
Master Vandar, a diminutive fellow with pale green skin and ears almost as long
as he was tall, with a far more amiable personality than most masters I had
encountered over the years. His species
was unknown to me; apparently it was a secret of the Order, though none knew
why. All knew he was considered to be
the wisest of the masters and most deferred to his judgment.
The other
two council members were Master Zhar, a Twi’lek from Ryloth and our foremost
instructor. It was his responsibility to
train the young apprentices and he handled the Tests not only for Padawan but
Knight as well. Lastly, was Master
Dorak, the historian of the enclave. A
dark-skinned native of Malastare, he was an enthusiastic student of ancient
lore. He had little to do with full-time
training, but all the students sat at his knee at some point in their career.
I entered
the wide, circular halls of the council chamber just mere moments behind my
master. On the front of the chamber was
a ring of over a dozen chairs. I never
really understood why as the council never seemed to number more than 4 at any
given time, but no one had been brave enough to ask. I looked down at my boots as I stood before
them. “Masters, to what do I owe this
honor?”
Vandar
took a step forward to bring himself into eye contact, looking up at me. “How many times must we tell you it is
permissible to look up when you enter this chamber, padawan? We cannot have you looking to the floor when
you are with us. You will always be
running into things.”
Slowly, I
raised my head, though I could not help but keep my eyes downcast. Master Vrook had always stressed showing
respect to the council, especially now that Revan’s folly was plain to
all. “Yes master, forgive me.”
The small
figure let out an almost inaudible sigh.
“Bastila, we have a task for you.”
“I will
serve however I can.” I could not help
but feel some trepidation as I spoke.
Most of my recent missions had involved being sent to the front line of
some battle where I was needed to desperately stave off a Sith victory. I did not fear for myself. I knew my skills would not fail me. However, one misstep and the Republic would
lose its one advantage: me.
Zhar took
over the briefing. “We have learned that
Revan and Malak will be near Ord Mandell, transferring troops and supplies
between their two fleets. We feel this
is a perfect opportunity.”
My mind
reeled at the suggestion. Did they think
we could end the war with a lightning attack?
I was not aware the Republic had a force capable of taking on both Revan
and Malak’s forces simultaneously.
Vrook
shook his head as if reading my thoughts.
“No, padawan. We cannot win this
war though military might. Instead, we
must take this opportunity to strike at the head of the beast that threatens
us.”
“We
intend to send you leading a covert team of Jedi and Republic SpecOps troops to
storm Revan’s flagship, the Titan,”
Zhar continued. “Once there, it is our
hope you can capture Revan and bring him here for interrogation.”
“Interrogation,
masters? I know we do not believe in
assassination, but would this not be an ideal opportunity to kill him?” I was confused, this plan held great
risk. Capturing a Jedi is infinitely
harder than killing one and that was no easy task in and of itself either.
Master
Vander looked back up at me. “Surely you
have noticed Revan possesses a fleet much larger and more advanced than any in
the galaxy, and yet he did not have these ships with him when he vanished. It is this seemingly endless supply of ships,
droids, and fighters that is the true enemy in this war. We need to know how Revan has amassed such a
force, and the only one who knows all those secrets is undoubtedly him. We need him alive so we may try and bring him
back to the Light. With his conversion,
we will undoubtedly learn much about his missing years.” His ears pulled back and flattened somewhat
against the sides of his head. It was
clear he had his reservations about this course of action.
“Yes,
master. Even the defections from the
Republic and conscripts from conquered worlds cannot possibly account for his
military might. His tactical genius is
bad enough, but with unlimited resources at his command, many feel it is only a
matter of time before he overthrows the Republic.”
Vrook’s
stern voice called my attention next.
“Then you understand our need for such desperate action. It is much to ask of one so inexperienced,
but you are the only one who has even a chance of making this mission
successful.”
I
couldn’t quite suppress the swell of pride at his statement. It may not sound like it, but from him, that
is quite a compliment. “I will not let
you down, masters. Tell me what I am to
do.”
* * *
A few
days later, I found myself aboard a stolen Sith troop transport. Aboard were two other Jedi, the human Talen
Crais and a Miraluka named Pah’uu Zehn.
We were being supported by an entire elite commando team from the Republic
led by one Lieutenant Dev, an Alderaanian by birth, and yet somehow he wound up
in command of a deadly team of elite soldiers; unusual for someone from a world
renowned for its pacifistic beliefs.
Our ship
came smoothly out of hyperspace near the re-supply point. The silvery hulls of the Titan and the
Leviathan shone in the distance. The
strange curved indentation, almost like that of a maw, was like nothing seen
before. Crais piloted the cargo ship
towards our destination. His long brown
hair was pulled back into a tight braid that ran halfway down his back. He transmitted the docking codes to the
auto-targeting Point Defense Cannons that protected the ship from heavy fighter
attack. A simple acknowledgement was
sent and we were aboard.
Once
docked, the commandos triggered a small “accident” with the engines that gave
us cover to leave the ship and make our way to the nearby turbolift while the
bay crews struggled to contain the fire and coolant spilling out across their
deck. We arrived on the bridge level,
and had to fight our way through a heavy contingent of droids and guards to
reach the bridge itself. We lost most of our troopers in the assault, but we
made it to the bridge blast door. Zehn
and I covered Lt. Dev as he planted a shaped charge on the locking mechanism
and gained us access to the bridge.
Waiting
for us were three Dark Jedi, clad in their grey and black
jumpsuits, complete with rather ridiculous facemasks. Crais, Zehn, and I leapt upon them, sabers in
hand. It was first battle with a Dark
Jedi, but I knew it would not be my last.
A certainty filled me, that no matter what, we would win the day. I could not enter a full Battle Meditation
trance but I tried to channel a little of my confidence into my comrades. In a matter of moments, we prevailed as our
enemies fell at our feet. Lt. Dev threw
a couple of grenades into the crew pits, removing any other possible
reinforcement. We were alone, just us
and our quarry.
It was
the first time I ever actually saw him, that day. We had never met, though I Malak did come to
Dantooine once to try and persuade some of us to join their cause. Naturally, I heeded the wisdom of the
Council. For the entire skirmish, he had
just stood with his back to us, looking out the viewport at the stars, Malak’s
Leviathan just a few hundred meters off our starboard. He slowly turned around and raised his
hand. Before me, Lieutenant Dev
collapsed to the deck, gasping for air as unseen hands choked the life from
him.
Darth
Revan, the fallen Knight, garbed in his battle armor, face hidden behind that
Sith mask drew his crimson blade and moved into a dueling stance, holding it just above his head, as he waited
for my team and I to approach, mocking us.
As I looked across the walkway to the Sith Lord, I took an aggressive
stance myself and challenged him. “You
cannot win, Revan,” I boldly proclaimed, flanked by my fellow Jedi. I had never met them before that mission, and
that brief time was all that I would have with them.
In the
next instant, a barrage of cannon fire slammed into the bridge. I recognized it
as coming from Malak’s Leviathan. The pupil was betraying the teacher, as the
Sith traditions had long mandated. Malak
must have thought he could rid himself of his master and some Jedi in one fell
swoop. For an ambitious Sith, the choice
would have been an easy one.
Somehow I
survived, unscathed. The rest of the
crew was not so lucky. Zehn had been
impaled by a bridge support beam. Crais
was burned alive as one of the blasts passed close by him. It must have missed me by barely a meter. I glanced forward. The viewport had been annihilated. Some kind of emergency force field had
snapped into place, preventing us from being sucked into the vacuum of
space. Another one of the miracles these
strange alien vessels were capable of.
Where DID Revan get them?
I glanced
down and saw the crumpled form of the Dark Lord, lying on the deck. I crawled
my way over to him. Darkness ever turns
upon itself, I thought. Evil such as
this can only end in death.
That’s
when I felt it: that last flicker of the
Force still burning in his body. I
couldn’t believe it. Somehow, he had
survived the brunt of the attack. I
looked over him and could see a blood stain matting down the hood of his
cloak. A head injury… I must know how
bad it is. I pulled his mask off and the
breath caught in my throat.
Even now,
I’m not certain what I expected him to look like. Many of those who follow the Dark Side sport
deformities of some kind, as the darkness eats away at their bodies like a
cancer. Yet as I looked down as the most
feared Dark Lord of the Sith since Exar Kun, I saw a face, clear of hatred, of
anger, of evil. He was a not
unattractive human male, with long dark hair that stopped just above his
shoulders. His eyes were half-closed,
but I could see they were a bluish-grey.
His face was smooth and calm, despite the trail of blood. Unconscious, defenseless, with all his walls
and shields gone, stripped bare of whatever events had driven him down this
path, his face was serene… almost innocent.
He was nothing like I would have expected.
Forcing
my attention back to the situation at hand, I examined him. His eyes were shut. His long brown hair was pulled back and the
left side of his head was stained with blood.
A piece of transparisteel from the viewport had driven its way into his
skull. I could not fathom the extent of
the damage done to his brain. His injury
was great; it was very likely he was permanently brain damaged and all I had
come for was lost. The ship was
beginning to fall apart around me. I
could move faster if I left him behind.
Surely the Council would not fault me for this. He was obviously dying.
But as I
looked into that face, and once again felt the last flicker of life within him,
something moved me. There WAS a chance
he could live, however small, in whatever condition. I could save him… I took his head in my hands
and let the Force reach out. I could
feel the Darkness that had claimed him, that had led him to conquer dozens of
worlds and kill millions of people. At
first, I recoiled in horror. How could I
possibly allow a monster such as this to continue? He deserved death for all he has done! But I felt it again, that last hint of life,
pulsing steadily. It was at the heart of
the dark miasma that was the mind of Darth Revan; a faint spark of Light that
the darkness could not smother.
I reached
out, through the darkness, to take that spark and wrapped it in my own
Force. I breathed life into it, the way
you breathe air into a drowning man. I
could feel the spark grow, slowly. Soon
it became faint but steady. The darkness
around it seemed to thin. I couldn’t
help but think of it as an analogy for the power of the Light to banish the
Dark Side. I felt incredibly proud of
myself at that moment, I had saved Darth Revan.
Thanks to me, our first real break in the war had come at last. I gathered his limp form and carried him back
to our ship.
Little did
I know the price I would pay for my actions that day.
* * *
The
return to Dantooine was arduous. Our
little accident meant that the ship had limited capabilities. Additionally, as a cargo freighter, its
medical facilities were rather inadequate to the task of maintaining
Revan. Escaping was easy. With Malak’s betrayal, the Titan was crippled
and incapable of mounting an assault. I kept
the bulk of the ravaged warship in the Leviathan’s targeting sensors as cover
while the navicomputer loaded the present jump coordinates for Dantooine. I was fortunate that Malak had been arrogant
enough to assume his initial assault killed us all. If he had ordered the interdictor fields on
his ship activated, things would have gone much more poorly.
Revan
himself proved the major hurdle. It was
a 30 hour trip back to the enclave and their was no life support equipment
capable of maintaining him. I laid him
out on one of the bunks and rested on the floor beside him. I took his hand and let myself drift into a
meditative trance. I called upon what
healing abilities I had to funnel as much of the Force as I could through me
and into him. The spark I had felt
earlier was still there, but it was still weak.
I reached into his mind reluctantly at first, and found a jumbled mass
of half-formed images. His mind was in
chaos, possibly permanently damaged. Not
knowing what to do, I just held on to him and let the Force flow through us both.
When I
arrived back at the enclave, I was greeted by a team of healers, waiting at the
base of the ramp. They spirited the
fallen Sith away to the medical chamber on the lower levels of the
Enclave. I was taken immediately to the
Council chambers. As I stood there,
blood and ash still caked upon my face, I told the masters what had transpired. Master Vrook, in a rare display, looked upon
me with pride. “You have done well,
Bastila. It is a pity he could not be
taken intact, but the fact that you managed this despite everything is a
testament to your dedication.” At the time,
that was the happiest moment of my life, not that I showed it. Master Vrook would not have approved of that
at all, and I did not want to ruin that moment with an inappropriate display.
A week
later, Master Vandar informed me that though the fragment of transparisteel was
safely removed, but there were complications. “His mind is badly damaged,
padawan. Your ministrations kept him
from dying, but what are left are shattered fragments.”
“Is there
nothing we can do, master?” I was
apprehensive. Too many good people had
died for this to come to naught. Surely
the Force would not allow this man to perish after all I had done to save him.
The elder
Jedi bowed his head in contemplation.
“There is something. It is a slim
chance, but it is all we have. But it
will not be easy, and we will require your assistance.”
A brief
mental deep breath was required before I could dare speak. “Me?
What can I do that you and the others cannot?”
Master
Vandar began to circle the edges of my room.
“When you saved his life, Bastila, you formed a connection with him,
closer than any of us could manage in such a short time. You have made inroads into his psyche that we
will need to attempt to heal his mind.
With you as a conduit, we hope to heal his mind, or failing that, at
least grant him rudimentary abilities to care for himself.”
A
connection, with the Dark Lord of the Sith?
That certainly did not sound endearing, but if this was what was needed
to end the war it was the least I could do.
“Of course, master. Whatever I
can do to aid, I shall.”
“Excellent. Come to the medical bay tomorrow and we shall
begin.” As he left, I felt the tiniest rumblings
in the Force. I knew what was about to
happen would change my life. I felt that
I would finally be proven to the council, and that I would be allowed to take
the Trials after such a success. My life
was heading exactly where I wanted it.
* * *
The
procedure was long and difficult. The
Masters had me join with Revan in the same sustaining trance I had used to
bring him here, but this time, they were joined with me. I was merely an observer, but I could feel
their power flowing through me and it was almost intoxicating. Not only that, I could feel the spark that
was Revan reach out to this power.
What happened
next was shocking to say the least. As
their power reached that faint light it suddenly flared to life. It became a beacon, shining in the darkness. No, that wasn’t right. Because the darkness wasn’t abated, it too
grew in depth. I had never seen someone
so powerful in the Force before. The
light touched me and I felt some of those memories pass through me. I saw Revan talking to his master, and
elderly woman named Kreia. I saw him
leading men into battle on Dxun. I saw
him arguing bitterly with Malak over something I couldn’t quite hear. It all rushed by me, his life, his thoughts,
his power. It was overwhelming.
The touch
of Master Zhar’s mind reached out to me and helped me calm myself. I could… almost feel what they were
thinking. It wasn’t words; it wasn’t
images, but something in between. His
mind was too badly damaged. Repairing
the fractured mirror that was his memory would take months if not years. It was silently agreed to merely try and
implant a basic personality so that he could live out his days in a
convalescence facility on Coruscant, capable of feeding and cleaning himself if
not much else.
I could
not help but feel sorry for him. Even
though Revan had caused all this death and destruction around us, I pitied
him. To live out ones life as little
more than a child mentally, all that potential, all that power wasted. He could have
been the greatest of us.
I opened
myself to the others as they began to try and slowly heal Revan’s psyche. Yet as they worked, I sensed their growing
confusion. I struggled to make sense of
what was transpiring, when it became clear.
His mind was healing, yet the fragments were not. We all watched in silent wonder as a new
tapestry wove itself on the frame of his soul.
The new image that appeared was not one of Revan, Jedi Knight or even
Darth Revan, but of another person entirely!
Slowly,
the masters severed their connection to me.
Soon I too left my trance and looked up in amazement. “Masters, how is this possible?”
The four
of them looked back and forth. Zhar and
Dorak had a looks of amazement. Vander
appeared thoughtful, while Vrook’s brow creased in worry. “We do not know padawan. What has happened here is unexpected and
troubling. Go and rest. We will let you know of what we find.” And with that, my master dismissed me.
I
returned to my quarters, but I did not sleep for some time. I sat and tried to meditate on what had
occurred, but I could not. Something had
happened the masters had not foreseen, and it both troubled and excited
me. I was witness to something amazing,
even for a Jedi. My excitement was
misplaced, however.
I heard
nothing for the next several days, and all my gentle inquiries were
rebuffed. Finally, Master Vrook summoned
me before the Council. He was straight
and to the point. “It would seem,
Bastila, that Revan is no more. After
waking up, we spoke to him, and he insists that he is Veran Shadowfyre, a scout
for the Republic Exploratory Corps.”
It took
all my control to keep from looking too shocked. “How is this possible? Did such a man exist?”
“We do
not know, which troubles us. This should not have been possible.” My master sounded highly displeased.
Dorak
answered my second question. “Yes. We found a dossier for one Lieutenant Veran
Shadowfyre, of Derallia. He was recalled
to active duty in the Republic navy as a pilot and advance scout and died when
his picket ship inadvertently stumbled across Malak’s outer perimeter during
the engagement not far from Dagobah last month.”
“Does he
actually remember any of this?”
“Fortunately,
no. All he recalls is the ship being hit
and falling unconscious. We have
persuaded him that he survived, but suffered head trauma and spent the last
month in a coma from which he has just come out of.”
I tilted
my head in puzzlement. “But what about
his appearance. Surely he will realize
he does not look the same.”
“We
shared that concern as well, but when presented with a mirror, he seemed to
find nothing amiss.” Master Vander
noted. “This is become stranger and
stranger all the time, and yet we have no reason to believe he is not
sincere. We have searched their
background thoroughly. They never served
together, or even met as far as we can tell.
Revan and this man seem to have no connection whatsoever, other than the
fact that their names seem to be an anagram of each others.”
“That is
good to know, masters. What will be done
with him now? I’m certain he will not
want to stay with us long, given his recovery.
Can we risk him leaving the enclave?
We should find some way to keep him under surveillance.”
My master
finally spoke. “Indeed, young
padawan. We have had Republic records
altered to reflect his current status.
The bureaucrats have been convinced it was merely a clerical error, and
he will be returned to active duty. From
there, we will have him assigned to missions where you may keep an eye on him.”
My blood
turned to ice. “Me? Master, if I may be so bold, why would you
assign this to me? Surely one of the
other masters would be better suited to such a task.”
Vandar
stepped forward. “We have selected you
because we have sensed that a bond has formed between you and Revan. Our
attempt to heal his mind strengthened the connection your life-saving action
formed, and now we feel the two of you are linked, much as master and
apprentice sometimes are.”
I had
heard of such things, but never experienced it personally. Master Vrook was very careful to stay distant
and detached as a mentor. “Can this
connection not be severed?”
“With
time and distance, we believe it would eventually fade, though nothing is
certain. I understand your reluctance in
this, Bastila, but we require your cooperation, since this does, however,
present us with the chance we have been searching for.”
“A chance for what, Master? If his memory is gone, then what use is he to
us?”
“The mind
is not always as clear-cut as medical science would have us believe. There is a chance that much of his knowledge
is still buried within his subconscious mind, as flashes and vague
half-memories. Given that you are now
attuned to each other, there is a chance you can pull some much needed clues
from him.”
“Your new
mission is this, Bastila: Assume command
of the Republic ship, the Endar Spire, and rendezvous with the Republic 7th
Fleet. We will assign Veran aboard as an
advisor to your party. Hopefully, as the
fleet pursues the Sith, things will become clearer. If not, then we have lost nothing more than
some effort. Understood?”
“Yes,
Master. I am honored to serve the
Council thus. I shall make ready to
leave at once.”
Master
Vrook nodded to me. “Watch him
carefully, Bastila. Even without his
memory, he is still Force Sensitive. If
he should show any sign of returning to his old self, report it immediately. Do whatever is necessary to keep the Dark Lord
from rising again.”
“Understood,
Master.” As I left, I began to look
forward to the assignment. Not only was
I being given command of a ship, but I was given the task of unlocking the mind
of the one of the most powerful Jedi who had ever lived. With successful completion of this
assignment, I would surely be given my Knighthood!
I was such an ambitious,
arrogant fool…
I left
immediately to rendezvous’ with the Endar Spire. Ostensibly a Republic vessel, it was given
over to my direct command by request of the Jedi Council on Coruscant. My entourage was made up of two other Jedi,
several droids, and of course, Veran, who was transferred to the ship as an
advisor, not that he knew that. He was
led to believe it was his next assignment.
I made sure he got assigned rooms with someone who worked the opposite
shift to ensure that questions were kept to a minimum.
Shortly
after I arrived on board, I was met by Commander Carth Onasi. The Endar Spire would have been his ship to
command normally, but with the war against the Sith, he was delegated to the
position of military advisor to the vessel’s new captain: me.
Some would have been resentful of such a usurpation of their authority,
but Onasi took it with true professionalism.
“Master
Jedi, welcome aboard the Endar Spire,” he said, as he strode into the briefing
room. “I trust you find everything
satisfactory?” He was older than me, I’d
say in his late 30s. I wanted to ask him
if his trimmer was malfunctioning, given the haphazard facial hair he
exhibited, but I thought better of it.
Instead of the standard duty uniform, he was dressed in a yellow-orange
duty jacket given to ace pilots. Yet despite
all this, he carried himself with an easy air of authority. I was glad he would be at my side during what
was to come.
I could
not tell anyone else this, but I often felt uncomfortable in my role as
leader. Jedi were trained as
peacekeepers, mediators, and enforcers of the law, not warriors. I did not like knowing that I was sending
people to their deaths. I tried to
comfort myself with the knowledge that my presence would mean that more might
make it home alive, thanks to my gifts.
Still, I was not destined to be a military leader, but I could not show
this to the rank and file, who looked up to Jedi as legendary figures.
“Indeed,
commander. Everything is quite
satisfactory. I trust the crew has no
qualms about our presence here?” I held
myself up, hands folded behind my back.
An air of supreme self-confidence was needed to keep soldiers in
line. If their leaders were timid and
unsure, they would be unsure themselves.
Carth
immediately held himself at attention when he noticed my posture. Excellent.
“No, ma’am. They understand that
you are to be command, and that I am military liaison. I do have one question, if I may.”
A curt
nod was given. “Go ahead.”
He
shifted his weight from one foot to another.
“I’m concerned about these personnel you’ve ordered aboard. I can understand the need for more troops,
but a few of these seem… out of place.”
“Such as?”
Eyes narrowing, I could see where this was headed.
“Well,
there’s this scout for one. Shadowfyre,
I think his name was? No offense, master
Jedi, but we’re headed for Taris to re-supply and then to rendezvous with the
main fleet. Why do we need an explorer
along?”
I let the
cool control of a Jedi creep into my voice.
“Commander, we may be called to venture off the standard hyperspace
routes during this war. Also, Taris is
on the Outer Rim. We requested his
presence because he may have invaluable knowledge about the Outer Rim and
beyond. Also, it never hurts to have
another skilled pilot on board, wouldn’t you agree?” I played to his military sensibilities and
the collective ego all pilots across the galaxy seemed to share.
He held
my gaze as if he were trying to read my mind for a moment. If he had been Force Sensitive, perhaps he
could have. I did feel the faintest flicker
of the Force in him, but it was like a single star in the heavens. He was not gifted to use the Force, but
perhaps his descendants would be. I made
a note to mention him to the masters, so they could track his bloodline for
potential recruits in the future.
I felt
something, a tremor. There was more to
this than he was letting on. I moved to
sit at the head of the briefing table, and he followed suit. “What is it about this man that truly
concerns you, commander?” A simple transfer should not be that uncommon among
the fleet.
His eyes
glanced down at the tabletop. I was
right. “I don’t… like to discuss it.”
“I could
make it an order.”
He
flinched at that. Whatever it was, it
troubled him deeply. “I take it you have
not read my file then?”
I shook
my head once. “No, I have not
familiarized myself with the crew.” To
be honest, I had seen no need to. Why
learn the names and faces of those who might die in mere days? I had studied Revan’s logs from the
Mandalorian War en route to the ship.
While his tactics were ruthless and brutal, I could not help but agree
with one passage. ‘It is difficult, this war, sending men off to die. To lead them well, you have to know them, but
that makes their deaths hurt all the more.
I need to hold myself at a distance, regard them as nothing but mindless
droids or faceless Mandalorians in their armor.
That is the only way I can succeed.’
He
swallowed as though he was trying to ingest a large stone. “My home world is Telos. I served with Revan and Malak during the
Mandalorian War under Admiral Saul Karath.”
I knew
that name! He was the one who led the
survivors who did not go with Revan back to the Republic. He and his men were given commendations, at
least before Karath and some of his men defected to Darth Revan’s side at the
outset of this war. This man across from
me was a war veteran and hero of the highest order. I suddenly felt much better
about our chances. Then everything fell
into place.
“Telos,
the world bombarded by Admiral Karath under orders from Darth Malak. Your commanding officer betrayed you and
attacked your world.”
“Not just
my commanding officer. He was my friend,
my mentor. He tried to convince me that
the Sith were going to win this war, and that I was on the wrong side. I argued with him and he stormed off. He defected later that night.”
“Hell, I
might as well tell you everything. It’s
all there in my file.” With that he took
braced himself and raised his eyes to look at me for the first time since
sitting down. “Saul is not only
responsible for the assault on Telos, but for the death of my wife and son.”
I felt my
heart go out to this man, who had lost everything to such base treachery. It was no wonder he was distrustful. I placed my hand on his arm. I knew this was where a master would have
said something profound and comforting.
“We will stop them.” It was all I
could think of. I felt ashamed that I
could not offer something more to him.
He just looked up at me with this glare in his eyes. “I hope so.”
“Do not
let yourself be consumed by thoughts of revenge, commander.” With that, I stood up and smoothed my
outfit. “We will be at Taris in 6 hours. I trust you can handle the re-supply. I am going to retire for the evening. Call me should something come up.”
My
quarters were larger than what I was used to back on Dantooine. I’m sure by civilian standards these would be
considered somewhat cramped, but most did not live with the Jedi. I should have meditated, but I was
tired. I shed my dueling leathers and laid down on the bunk.
Pulling the sheet around me, I began to drift off, wondering if Revan
was doing the same a few decks down.
* * *
I was
awoken by the shuddering of the ship as alarms began to sound. As a Jedi, I was trained to be able to be at
the ready, even after deep sleep. Before
I could even fully comprehend my actions, I was pulling on my clothes and
fastening my lightstaff to my belt. I hastened my way to the bridge. There, I found Carth barking orders to the
startled crew. “Dammit,
keep formation!! If the ships scatter, we’re dead. Can’t we get the fighters scrambled?”
One of
the ensigns looked up from his console.
Even from this distance, I could practically feel the tension in his
voice. “No sir, there isn’t enough
time! The Valorous and the Intrepid
have been badly damaged.”
I came up
beside the commander. Unlike the rest of
the bridge crew, he was calm under fire.
The only emotions coming off him were determination, and annoyance, as
if the Sith had merely interrupted his favorite holovid. “Master
Jedi. I don’t suppose you have any Force
tricks that could save our collective butts?”
“I do
have one ‘trick’, as you so quaintly call it, though it will take some time for
it to have effect. What is our current
situation?”
Carth
shook his head. “We were approaching
Taris when a Sith fleet came out from around the moon
as we approached. We’re caught between
the fleet and the planet. We had pulled
our fighters back in for the approach, and they’ve got us outflanked. As you just heard, the other ships have been
disabled.”
Another
officer shouted back to us from the front.
“Enemy fighters coming in!”
“How many?” Carth and I asked the question in unison.
“A… at least six squadrons! They’re
s…swarming us! Also reading 6 boarding
pods inbound!” The quiet fear in his
voice became a trembling stutter that heralded the near panic that began to
sweep the bridge. They were going to
storm the ship rather than simply destroy it the way they had our sister ships. That meant only one thing: they knew I was here. How, I had no idea, but Darth Malak must have
ordered them to capture me.
Before I
could issue an order, Carth spoke up.
“Alright people. Hold it
together.” He turned to face me. “We need to abandon ship, Bastila. We can’t survive if we stay here. On Taris, we might be able to slip away on a
tramp freighter.”
I
considered arguing that my Battle Meditation could turn the tide, but I could
tell from the look in his eyes that if he declared the battle lost, then it
must be. I turned and faced the
crew. “All hands, abandon ship. Sound the evacuation alarm. Evacuate the ship in an orderly
fashion.”
The crew
seemed to hesitate, looking back and forth at each other. “You heard her! Move out!”
The order was given a moment too later.
The bridge went up in smoke and sparks as a fighter tore past the
viewport, dealing a glancing blow to the forward deck. When my vision cleared, several of the
crewmen were laying dead on the deck.
Carth
grabbed my shoulder and led me to the starboard exit. Within moments, he had me at the central
escape pod bay. He practically had to
push me into the pod. “What about you?”
I called back.
“I’ll
head the defense of the ship, until everyone is evacuated. I’ll be on the last pod.” He gave me a faint smile. “I know the captain is supposed to go down
with the ship, but we both know your loss would be almost as good to Malak as
capturing you.”
So he
knew that this entire trap was for me.
Once again, people were dying because of me. “Make sure you get Veran and the others off
the ship. We’ll rendezvous and try and
find a way offworld.”
I could
not miss the odd look Carth gave me. He
was obviously wondering why I felt Veran was so important, but we both knew I
did not have time to answer his questions.
“May the Force be with you, Carth Onasi. I feel we will meet again.”
He bit
off a laugh. “I hope you’re right. Don’t worry about your friend. I’ll be sure he makes it out with me.” With that, he stabbed a button on the outer
panel and the hatch shut. With a muffled
blast, I felt the escape pod shoot free.
The trip
down to Taris was not gentle. The pod
passed through a stray blast as a fighter tried to shoot me down. The reentry thrusters were damaged and
instead of a gentle crash into the upper levels of the city, the pod plummeted
through the immense city. The last thing
I felt was the massive smashing sensation of what must have been the pod
breaking through the thin artificial crust that separated the
I awoke
to the throbbing pain in my head. As I
shook my senses clear, I took a survey of my condition. I touched my head and found no blood, so I
must have had a mild concussion. I had
not yet learned how to focus the Force to accelerate healing and clear the
blood, so I was unable to clear my head quickly. I unfastened myself from the chair I was in. I felt for my lightsaber and found it
missing. I glanced around for it, but
did not see it.
There was
a haze of smoke from a burning control panel.
It was minor inconvenience, but it was keeping me from seeing or
breathing clearly, which made the pain in my head worse. I opened the pod hatch to clear the air and
found myself staring into the barrel of a blaster. I looked past it to a group of about five
aliens of various types, mainly Klatuu, Twi’lek, and Rodian. They all
wore jumpsuits and clothing of similar style and coloring, so I could only
assume I had been stumbled across by some pedestrian street gang. I tried to move back into the pod, so I could
make another quick search for my lightsaber, but the thugs were faster than my
hindered reflexes, and I was rendered unconscious again by a stun blast from
the blaster that had been in my face moments before.
I don’t
know how long it was before I regained consciousness, but I had the vaguest
memory of dreaming I was back on the Titan, fighting Revan’s apprentices as we
entered the bridge. I didn’t know what
it meant at the time, I merely thought it was an odd memory to revisit. As my head cleared, I realized that the pain
in my head was gone. I opened my eyes,
and found myself strapped down to a medical bunk. As the last of the haze cleared, I felt a
thin metal color around my neck.
Taking
stock of the room, I noticed that it was ill-kept. There was grime everywhere, and much of the
paneling was stained and cracked. The
door opened and in walked a man, I’d say he was no
older than 25 years. He had dark skin
and a military-like buzzcut. He spoke with a high-pitched sneering
voice. “Good! You’re awake.
I hope my doctor fixed your wounds.”
I tried
to raise my head, but found I couldn’t muster the strength to do so. Something was wrong. “Who are you?” The sound that croaked forth from my throat
barely sounded like myself.
“I am Brejik. I lead the
Black Vulkars, the strongest swoop gang on the face
of Taris. You are a Republic officer,
and Jedi, if I’m not mistaken.” He held
up the hilt of my lightstaff. “Oh, if you’re wondering why you can’t move,
that’s the neural restraint collar. I
have it on setting three. You can speak,
but you shouldn’t have enough strength to move, unless I will it.”
“What
value am I to you? Let me go.” I reached out with my mind and tried to
influence his thoughts, but I could not summon the will. I had heard of these collars; a classic
slavers’ tool. They could also be used
to keep a Jedi prisoner. My situation
had gone from bad to worse.
“What
value? I’ll tell you what value.” He
walked over to my bed and ran his hand down the side of my face. I would not have given him the satisfaction
of shuddering beneath his touch. “Such a
skilled and beautiful woman is hard to come by, especially here in the
With the
emphasis put on that final word, that disgusting man kissed me. I bit him for his effrontery, but he only
laughed as he pulled back. “You have
spirit! Good, that means you’ll be even
more fun to break!” He reached down to
an armband he wore and touched a control.
I suddenly found it even more difficult to focus my thoughts as I slowly
slid down into a never-ending grey haze.
The Force
was with me, as apparently I was secreted away from the gang as a whole. It took days of meditating, gathering the
Force little by little, as much of my will was sapped by the collar. My awareness was limited, but I would have
felt any attempts at torture or worse.
The worst I had to endure was another slave stripping me, cleaning me
up, and dressing me again in some kind of tight revealing slave girl
outfit. It wasn’t until the day of the
Taris Open swoop race, that I had the power to finally rip the collar from my
neck. I was only dimly aware of my
surroundings, but I heard that megalomaniacal brat.
“People,
hear me! Before I present the so-called
champion of the Beks his victory prize, there is
something you all need to know. The
winning rider cheated!” I could hear the
uproar in the crowd as the new champion confronted Brejik.
“You’re a
damned liar!” said a voice I had never heard before, yet it sounded so
familiar.
Brejik
continued his little tirade. “Your swoop
bike was using a prototype accelerator; clearly an unfair advantage. Because of this Hidden Bek
treachery, I am withdrawing the Vulkars’ share of the
victory prize!”
A voice
speaking in Duro tried to interject. “You can’t do this, Brejik! You know the rules: nobody is allowed to
withdraw a victory prize after the race!
It goes against all our most sacred traditions!”
“You old
fool!” I didn’t need to see him to know
he was wearing the same, arrogant, smug sneer he had when I saw him. “Your traditions mean nothing to me! I am the wave of the future! If I wish to take this woman and sell her on
the slave market myself, no one can stop me!”
I knew
this was my chance, so summoning all the strength I had gathered, I burst free,
threw my guard across the walkway, and called his double-bladed vibrosword to my hand.
“I might have something to say about that, Brejik.” I must say, the look of shock on his face was
almost worth my time in that damn collar.
“Impossible!” he stumbled back,
this look of terror in his eyes. He knew
what was coming. “You were restrained by
a neural disruptor! How could you have possibly
summoned the will to free yourself!”
“You
underestimate the strength of a Jedi’s mind.”
I spun my newfound weapon in an intimidating twirl as I strode toward
him. “A mistake you won’t live to
regret.” And with that, I charged this
diminutive little wretch.
With a
high-pitched shrill he called out to his men.
“Vulkars, to me! Kill the woman! Kill the swoop rider! Kill them all!”
I reached
him in a heartbeat. He drew his blaster
and aimed it at me, but I was already too close. Before he could fall back, I drove blade into
his chest all the way to the hilt. I
looked in his eyes as they widened. I
think that was the beginning of my fall, in both senses of the word. As much as I would deny to everyone,
including myself, I could not suppress a smug sneer of my own as a trickle of
blood begin to flow from his mouth and down his chin. When he collapsed to the ground and rattled
his last breath, may the Council forgive me, I felt happy. I buried that feeling down, deep inside
me. No one would ever know what joy the
death of that evil little man had given me.
“Maybe
that will teach the Vulkars to think twice before
attempting to hold a Jedi prisoner. As
for you, if you think you can collect me as a pri…” As I turned to inform my fellow combatant,
the winner of the swoop race that he was to be greatly disappointed as I was no
one’s prize, I received the greatest shock of my life. My would-be rescuer was none other than
Revan! No longer in the standard gear of
a Republic soldier, he was clad in some kind of black and silver armor, Cinnagar in design if I wasn’t mistaken. He held a vibroblade
in his hand, stained wit the blood of the other Vulkars. His shoulder-length hair was matted down with
sweat to the back of his neck. He was breathing rapidly, with that flush that
always comes with battle.
Something
leapt in my chest as I first saw him. It
was unnerving. If I had a lesser control
over my emotions, I would have been breathing rapidly myself but not from
exertion. I had never had a crush, as
such interactions were forbidden in the Enclave. I had, of course, studied on such things. Master Vrook had advised me what to be on
guard for, as to not slip. I knew from
the way my pulse threatened to race out of control, from the fact that I almost
stammered and blushed when I saw him.
Why was this happening now? And
why him?! It must be that bond, yes that’s what it must be. I couldn’t leave myself open like this. With time and control, this would go
away. I immediately allowed all my
training to come to the front, and let the cool calm that I had worked long to
perfect to come over me.
To the
credit of my training, I let nothing more than mild shock show, which I covered
as recognition. “You! It can’t be!
You…you’re one of the soldier’s with the Republic fleet, aren’t
you? Yes, I’m sure of it! How did you wind up racing for these swoop gangs?”
“I’m Veran Shadowfyre; I’m here to save you.”
He said it with such sincerity I almost laughed.
“Rescue
me? Is that what you called riding in
that swoop race? As far as rescues go,
it was a pretty poor example. As you can
see, I did not need your help. In fact, I think it’s safer to say that I
rescued you.” I succinctly informed him.
The look on his face as I said those words was one of
incredulousness. Despite who this man
once was, he was no longer a Jedi, and it would not do to admit weakness. I can see now why I wrapped myself in my own
pride and arrogance. I wanted to prove
myself to him, to this man who was once the pinnacle of the Jedi Order, and its
greatest enemy. “Brejik
and his Vulkars would have left you for dead if I
hadn’t been here. You’re lucky I was
able to get you out of this mess.”
The look
of surprise quickly turned to one of annoyance.
“I think you’re confused. You
were a helpless prisoner until I came along, lady.”
This man
was actually trying to lecture me! Of
all the arrogant bravado! “I may have
been a prisoner, but a Jedi is never helpless.
Maybe you’ve heard of a little thing called the Force?” He just shook his head in exasperation. “But I suppose I shouldn’t be too hard on
you. You did try to rescue me, after
all, even if things didn’t go exactly as planned. Now, lets get down
to business: are there any other
survivors?”
Revan…
Veran, I mean; I really should get used to calling him that; nodded. “We aren’t the only survivors. Carth Onasi is with us, as well.”
I let
loose a sigh of relief. “Carth is
alive? Finally, some good news! He’s proven himself a hero a dozen times
over.” I could also imagine the trouble
he’s given Veran if he’s still half as suspicious of him as he was before our
evacuation. “He sent you here to save
me? Maybe I misjudged you. Carth would not have sent you if he was not
confident in your abilities. Forgive
me. Despite my Jedi training, I
sometimes act a bit rashly.”
A faint
smile, almost a smirk, appeared on his face.
Over the weeks and months I would come to both hate and love that
expression. “I understand, Master
Jedi. I can’t imagine what the last few
days have been like for you. I know how
scum like this treats their prisoners.”
“Brejik considered me too valuable to be a toy for him and
his men. Unblemished, he felt I would be
worth more,” I said with scorn in my voice.
I glanced up at him and saw this look of sorrow and sympathy in his
eyes. Master Vrook had told me they had
given me a new personality, but I had no idea what to expect. Of course, the Council would have given him a
sympathetic and humane identity. But in
my mind, I still saw the black-robed figure that had led the Sith
to victory after victory. Until that
moment, I had not really believed that Veran was a completely different person
than Darth Revan. It made me wish I had
known him before his fall.
At that
moment, I had a kind of vision. My sight
blurred and suddenly I was back on the bridge of the Titan, but this time I was facing myself, standing across the
walkway, my lightsaber at the ready. I
heard myself say, “You cannot win, Revan!” followed by a sense of an explosion
occurring behind me, then the vision faded.
I had witnessed that battle, and it could only have been through Revan’s
eyes! I felt a panic inside, but my
training took control, and I quickly suppressed the incident. This was neither the time nor the place to
worry about such things.
I blinked
and looked away and brought my thoughts back to matters at hand. “Please, take me to Carth right away. Between the three of us, we should be able to
find a way to escape Taris before the Sith realize
we’re here.” With a sharp nod, he turned
and led me to their apartment base of operations, where I was pleased to see
Carth.
Carth
seemed as relieved to see me as I was him.
“Bastila!
You’re alive! Finally, things are
looking up. Now we just need to find a
way off this planet.”
“You mean
you don’t have a way to get off Taris?
What have you been doing while I was captured?!” It was silly to react like that, but meeting
Veran had shaken me, much more than I was willing to admit at the time. My emotional control was not what it should
have been. Master Vrook would have
admonished me severely for such a slip.
“We were
trying to find you, remember?” Veran
snapped at me.
I glanced
over at him. “Really? Now that I’m back in charge of this mission,
perhaps we can start doing things properly.
I’m sure our escape from Taris will go more smoothly than when you
‘rescued’ me from Brejik.”
Carth
stepped up between us. “Look, Bastila, I
know you’re pretty new at this, but a leader doesn’t berate her troops just
because things aren’t going as planned.
Don’t let your ego get in the way here.”
That comment
was like a slap in the face, because he was right. I didn’t want to admit however, especially
not in front of this man. The Council
had entrusted him to me, and I had to keep his respect if anything could be
done. “That hardly strikes me as a way to
address your commanding officer, Carth.
I am a member of the Jedi Order and this is my mission. Remember that! My Battle Meditation has helped the Republic
many times in this war, and I’m sure it will help us here.”
Carth
just shook his head in exasperation the same way Veran had done back at the
swoop track. “Your talents might win us
a few battles, but that doesn’t make you a good leader. A good leader would at least listen to advice
from someone whose seen more combat than she ever
will.”
At this
point, Veran stepped forward. “Both of
you, that’s enough!
We have to work together if we’re going to get of this planet.”
I took a
deep breath and re-centered myself.
“You’re right, of course. I
apologize, Carth. This is a difficult
time for me. Of course, I will listen to
your advice. What do you think we should
do?”
We could
all feel the tension being to bleed out of the room, and the thickness of the
air began to thin. “First of all, we
can’t get hung up on who’s in charge here; we all need to work together if we
want to get off this rock.”
I nodded
once and looked back and forth between the two men. “Well said, Carth. I think we’ll need some help finding a way
off Taris. I suggest we look in the
cantinas. Maybe one of the locals can help
us out.”
Carth
nodded and moved to make ready to leave.
I glanced at Veran and noticed him looking at me hesitantly, a question
in his eyes. “Is something troubling
you?”
He opened
his mouth but no sound emanated from it for several moments. “Something weird happened when we first met;
like a vision.”
My blood
turned to ice water. I carefully
controlled the tone of my voice to prevent anything other than a calm cool
disinterest from entering it. “A vision? A vision of what?”
“Of you, fighting a Dark Jedi. Revan, I
think.”
I could
think of no curse foul enough to properly summarize my feelings at that
moment. The bond we shared was enough to
allow unconscious memory sharing. The
question was, was it my memory or his?
Regardless, Veran needed an answer and I would have to give him one.
“This is…
strange. Such visions are often a sign
of Force Sensitivity.”
This
caught his attention. “Are you saying I
can use the Force?”
Blast it,
this was not happening! “I… I’m not
sure. You may have some connection to
the Force. Such things are not unheard
of. When we first met your natural
talent may have fed off my own Force abilities.”
I turned
away as if contemplating what this could mean.
I was, but not the way Veran would expect. I did not want him to see the worry in my
eyes. “It is possible that in the
excitement of the battle’s aftermath, the Force may have allowed you to witness
one of my more intense memories.”
“So does
this mean I could be a Jedi?” I could
hear both the excitement and concern in his voice.
“The
Force is complicated. Even I, with all
my training, do not fully understand it. This is a matter best left to the
wisdom of the Jedi Masters.” I turned to
look at him again, my own anxieties once again fully under control. “Once we escape Taris, we can seek the
guidance of the Council if you wish.
They will be able to explain the significance of your vision… if there
is any.” I had to quickly amend myself
before I said too much. Surely the
masters would consider him to dangerous to train a second time.
“However,
I think it would be best if we stayed focus on the task at hand right now. We cannot afford any distractions; we must
find a way off Taris.”
Veran
nodded. “You’re right, of course. Thank
you, Bastila.” He turned and busied
himself, cleaning his vibroblades. I sat in silent meditation until the
whirlwind that was Mission Vao and Zaalbar returned from a food run.
“Hey! Is this Bastila? You guys found her, huh? Guess that means we need more food, right,
Big Z?”
“I am
Bastila Shan, yes. And you are?” I stood up to introduce myself, but I should
have realized such formal behavior was unnecessary.
Mission
was a young, blue-skinned Twi’lek, no older than 15 years if I had to guess,
who had apparently grown up on the streets of Taris. Zaalbar was her Wookie companion.
Apparently the two of them looked after each other. It was an odd pair, but I could tell they
were comfortable with each other.
Before I
could even ask,
By the
end of her energetic recounting, Veran and Carth helped
In short
order, we found the help we desperately needed.
An unscrupulous Mandalorian mercenary named Canderous Ordo was willing
to betray his current master, the crime lord Davik Kang, and wanted us to help
him. If it had been up to me, I would
have left him to rot on this world with his master, but Veran thought this was
the quickest (and least likely anticipated) way offworld. Carth and I reluctantly agreed.
The
“catch” was that we needed 2,000 credits to pay for a droid to slice past the security
of the Sith military base so we could acquire the pass code to clear the
blockade of this world. No mean feat and
we were a bit short on funds. Rev… I
mean Veran decided again for the expedient route and finish his career in the
Dueling Rings of Taris with a flourish.
It seemed one Bendak Starkiller had a price on his head for his penchant
for death matches and the only way to face him was in the dueling ring. Aside from becoming Taris’ premiere swoop
racer, he also became the Taris Dueling Champion while on his quest to find
me. This impressed Bendak enough for him
to accept a challenge.
Over my
very stringent protests that we had more important things to do than go
bounty-hunting, Veran insisted. The
prize money from the betting, and the bounty itself would put us well over the
amount we needed to purchase the droid and re-supply for our entry into the
base. He was stubborn and
headstrong. It seems that he kept some
of Revan’s traits after all. This also
made me fearful that he might start down the path of darkness again. The masters say once you start down the dark
path, it will forever dominate your destiny.
I suppose this was true, memory or not.
Did we do the right thing? Or did
we only give him a second chance at darkness?
That thought would eat away at me for the next few days.
The day
came for the deathmatch. I continued to
protest, as often as possible. It had little impact except other than drive
everyone to frustration. We weren’t even
allowed into the arena; just to watch on the monitors. I had hoped to use the Force to adjudicate
the battle, but at this distance only my Battle Meditation would have been
possible, and it had little effect on such a small skirmish.
I must
confess, I was beginning to worry. Veran
was important to the war effort, in his own way. To lose him on such a petty endeavor seemed…
wrong.
The duel
opened with Bendak lobbing a pair of plasma grenades at Veran, who deftly
rolled forward, closing the distance between himself and the armored assailant. The two crossed vibroblades and the duel
began in earnest. Veran soon slipped out
a second blade and slipped into a new fighting style. I had no idea he was skilled in that
particular method of dueling. It was
most difficult, but he handled it deftly.
Where Bendak hacked and attacked with a brutal efficiency, Veran spun,
parried and whirled around his attacker with the grace of a Jedi.
It
shouldn’t have surprised me. It is
common knowledge, even with memory loss, the body remembers instinctually
things like combat reflexes. He was
mesmerizing. Bendak was truly in a
fight. Even armored as Mandalorian, head
to toe, you could tell he was enjoying it.
This malicious man lived for battle, so much so, that I do believe he
may have been a Mandalorian. And like
those warriors, he was cunning.
As they
locked blades, Bendak kicked Veran in the knee, driving him off-balance and
then slammed him in the face with the hilt of his blade, knocking him
down. He immediately took an overhead
pose, preparing to finish Veran off.
Without realizing, I sharply pulled in a breath of air and moved forward
towards the screen. No! was the only
thought in my head. Veran kicked up,
nailing Bendak in his groin. The armor
absorbed most of the impact, but it still threw him off.
Veran
kicked himself back up took the smaller of his two blades, and threw it with
all his might. Bendak looked up but
didn’t react quite quickly enough, and the vibroblade drove itself into his
throat. He just stood there for a moment,
even over the feed, you could almost hear him gurgle. Then he fell over dead.
The
crowds, both in the arena and here at the cantina, went wild. The announcer cried out, “It’s over, it’s
over, the fight is OVER! Bendak Starkiller is down!
Bendak Starkiller is dead!” I
looked back over at Carth and saw him looking at me with this curious
expression. It was then I realized, that
I had been holding my breath for the last few moments of the fight. I replayed it in my head and realized that
rather brief if emotional display. I was
in obvious need of meditation. My
emotional control was obviously beginning to slip. Still, it was only natural to be concerned
for a comrade-in-arms, was it not? This
man was my charge; to let him die would reflect poorly on me. My concern was for the mission.
Wasn’t
it?
After the
duel, we collected the winnings from Ajurr the Hutt, then promptly down to
Zax’s office in Javyar’s cantina down in the
Janice
Nall, the Twi’lek droid engineer, was surprised we had come to pick up the droid,
but the sight of 2,000 credits did enough to squelch any questions she
had. The little droid, T3-M4, was a
highly advanced astromech. I had rarely
seen this particular variant, even serving on the Endar Spire. The T3 series was very new, and this one had
obviously been further modified for… illicit activities. Despite its less than savory origins, T3
seemed to have that rather irreverent attitude that comes with all state of the
art droids. It was very friendly, and
had little compunction about slicing into an encrypted military system. We were finally on our way.
Not that
it mattered much where I was concerned.
Both Re… Veran. Must refer to him
as Veran. The slightest slip of the
tongue would cause untold problems.
Veran and Carth pointed out a problem I had not yet considered.
Veran was
the first to speak. “Uh, Bastila? I hate to be the one to bring this up, but
you can’t come with us.”
I slowly
turned and looked at him, giving him an icy glare. “What do you mean?”
“We’re
going to have to break into a Sith military facility. Having along someone whose face has been
flashed on every Most Wanted update for the last few days isn’t going to make
things easy.”
“Nonsense. The mission is undoubtedly going to mean
encountering a true Sith, not just their foot soldiers. You’ll need me along to deal with them. You cannot honestly expect to stand up to
someone who wields the power of the Force.”
Veran
bristled at my comment. My tone was
harsh, and derisive. He looked about to
cut back, when Carth jumped in.
“We know
the risks, Bastila, but we want to do this as low-key as possible, and the
moment any security cam spots you, the whole place is going to come down on our
heads. Without you, we have a chance to
get in and out with a minimum of fuss.”
“Besides,
I think you need to give us non-Jedi a little credit. After all, we did rescue you from the
Vulkars,” Veran shot back. Carth winced
visibly, and I, unfortunately, took the bait.
“Need I
remind you that I freed myself without your assistance? Brejik would have killed you without my
assistance. I understand your need to
bolster your ego by claiming things happened a bit differently, I assure you,
you help was not needed.”
“Well in
that case, why don’t you go storm the base all by yourself?! I’m sure your vastly superior Jedi powers
will sweep away all in your path! I can
just go down to the cantina, kick up my feet, and let my adoring fans buy me a
few rounds!”
“You
insufferable…! The ability to ride a
swoop at insane speeds and put ones life in danger for mere monetary gain is
insignificant next to the power of the Force!
We are talking about the fate of the galaxy!” I could feel myself growing angry. Why?
This was foolish of me! It was
then that I realized that I could feel some faint trace of the anger in him,
and it was feeding my own. Clearly this
bond was more dangerous than the council realized. His darkness could corrupt even me, if we were
not careful.
At this
point, Carth stepped in. “Simmer down,
you two. Look this bickering won’t get
us anywhere. Veran, she’s right. We have to look at the bigger picture
here. The same goes for you, Bastila. Put your pride away, and accept the fact that
we’re all partners in this.”
Ashamed
by this, I backed down. “Of course,
you’re right, Carth.”
Veran
nodded but kept his eyes on me. The look
on his face was… mixed. I couldn’t tell
what he was feeling. He had locked
himself down, and somehow this was even blocking the nascent emotional
connection our bond had given us. Could
he have felt it too? He couldn’t know
what it meant. But he was going to be
asking more questions. I had to get him
back to Dantooine, and soon…
I let
them go. Carth didn’t leave me much
choice. He took Veran and T3 and went
after the military base. They were gone
for hours.
My
discipline was slipping. It had to be
this thrice-cursed bond with Revan. It
slipped past my emotional barriers, and opened a hole in them I did not
need. Master Vrook constantly told me
that my control was not sufficient. I
needed to reinforce my control; shore up my walls. I knelt in meditation, trying to find my
center, that place where I was at peace and could become one with the Force.
I don’t
know how much time passed. Time always
blurs in a meditative trance. It can be
used to replace sleep for short periods of time. I felt out my bond with Revan. I could feel his anxiousness, his
exhilaration in battle. I could feel the
Force sing through him as he fought whatever opponent stood in his way. I could also feel the tendrils of the
darkness within him, lurking just beneath the surface.
It
chilled me. I knew the kernel of the
Light within him had broken through the dark cloud that once dominated him, but
some of it still clung. The potential
was there. The Dark Side had not
completely left one of its most powerful followers. I couldn’t help but think of the power he had
amassed so quickly. Here he had been,
only a Knight, and yet in the space of two years, he had become one of the most
powerful Dark Lords ever. For a moment,
I could not help but wonder at how he had fallen, and how he had gained such
power. I had studied for most of my
life, and was still only considered a Padawan…
No! Thoughts such as these were dangerous. Surely Revan and Malak had similar thoughts
before they started down their bloody path.
I would not make such a mistake.
Unlike the willful Revan, I would follow the dictates of the
council. I was not so arrogant as to
question their wisdom.
Suddenly
I felt a sharp pain course through my body and pierce me, deep in my meditative
state. I felt the bond fade to what
seemed like nothingness. I collapsed
onto the floor, sweating, barely able to breathe. Something must have happened! Could he be dead? NO! I
should have gone! I could not have
failed him like that! I could not have
failed the council! He was my charge, I
was to protect him! I tried to reach
out, but then another sharp pain lanced through me and I blacked out.
* * *
I
regained consciousness, and was confused.
The pain had passed, but the bond was very weak. It was still there though. Surely he still lives! I got up and gathered myself. A few minutes later, the door to the
apartment hissed open. Carth came in,
followed by Zaalbar,
I rushed
forward as Zaalbar lowered Veran to a bunk.
I could make out a couple of deep slash wounds across his chest.
“You were
right, Bastila. There was a Sith there,
apparently the Governor. He didn’t have
a lightsaber, so Veran charged in, thinking he could take him. He held his own for a few moments, but that
spawn of a Hutt got under his guard. He
was too cocky. Hell, we both were. As soon as Veran went down, he came after
me. My blasters only work so well at
close range. He would have finished me
off if T3 hadn’t nailed him with a stun blast.
We ran out of kolto medkits dealing with the sentry droids, and I had
nothing to stabilize him with. I got him
out of the base, and ran into
I
immediately pulled out a medkit I had kept in reserve for myself and went to
work on his wounds, applying the kolto to the deep lacerations. This would seal the wounds and halt the blood
loss, even deal with some of the internal bleeding. As I did this, I made sure Carth took the
full brunt of my fury over this debacle.
"You
couldn't be bothered to listen to a single thing I told you, could you? I'm sure you charged into battle with your
typical male bravado! Why, I don't know,
as you had no one to try and impress!
Perhaps you thought T3 would swoon at your manly swagger! At least the droid had more sense and
tactical planning than the two of you put together! If it hadn't been for him, you'd both be
dead, and we'd be stranded. Next time I
hope you at least attempt to think before you act. You never know when your actions will cost
someone their life!!"
Carth
recoiled at my words as if he had been physically struck. I didn't know then... though it would not have made a
difference. I was upset, angry. I wanted to lash out, and hurt him I succeeded admirably.
"You're
right, Bastila." He stiffened
visibly. "I should go get some more
medical supplies. We'll need them." He turned and walked swiftly from the
apartment.
Mission
looked back and forth during the exchange.
As Carth hurried out, she called "Hey, Carth! Wait up!" Zaalbar followed quickly behind her, leaving
me alone with the injured R.... Veran and T3-M4. I couldn't blame her for leaving. There wasn't anything she could do
regardless.
I tended
Veran's wounds. His body was accepting
the kolto, which was a good sign. The
bleeding had already stopped, and the kolto would neutralize any infection
already present, as well as seal the wound close, and speed the healing process. There was always a risk of kolto rejection,
or some kind of allergic reaction if too much is taken in too short a
time. If nothing went wrong in the next
15 minutes, he would likely survive.
I let out
a slow breath, and tucked my braids back behind my ears. I looked down at my dueling leathers and saw
the blood stains on them, knowing the blood was his. That thought shook me, more than it should
have. I didn't feel this kind of trauma
when my fellow Jedi died back on the bridge of the Titan. Many I had known and
studied with had died during the war against the Sith, the war that this man
had started. Why did I continue to feel
such concern for him?! I suddenly realized
I was running my hand lightly over his chest, tracing the wounds. No, it was more than that. I stopped and just looked at my hand, as if
it had mind of its own.
At that
moment, I suddenly felt a hand shoot up and grasp my wrist tightly. I gasped in surprise. I looked up and saw
Re... Veran looking at me with half-open eyes.
He smiled wanly at me.
"Guess I can't argue over who saved who this time, huh,
Bas?" He then laid his head back
and promptly drifted off. From his
breathing, I could tell it was sleep, not just a loss of consciousness. That was not the only shocking moment. He called me Bas. Only my father had called me that, when I was
just a little girl... Could he have
known, on some subconscious level? How
deep did this bond go?
At that
moment, I was both excited and afraid. I
wanted this bond dissolved. Let someone
else do this. This man was getting under
my shields far too easily. He had
affected me in ways I was not comfortable with.
I desperately wished I was back on Dantooine, so that the Masters could
relieve me of this burden. But deep
down, there was also this tiny bit of...excitement. I realized, I wanted someone to know me, to
understand me. I pushed those thoughts
away as I stood up quickly and moved to the window. It was a gorgeous view of
We must
get off this world and quickly. The Sith
are no longer the only danger to me here.
* * *
Veran
slept for over a full planetary rotation.
I kept a close eye on him, and his pulse was strong and his breathing
regular. At some point in the night, I
fell asleep beside his bed. I did not
hear Carth,
"Bastila? Hey... sorry to wake you, but we got some
supply from Zelka. He said if we needed,
we could bring Veran by his place. Least
he could do for the man who gave him the rakghoul cure." she said with a
small smile.
I quickly
snapped to attention. I glanced up at
Veran who was now snoring quite noisily.
Carth looked amused, and one can never mistake a Wookiee's chuckle for
anything other than what it is. It was
then I realized that I was fell asleep resting against his bed. I quickly stood up and straightened my
clothes. "Rakghoul cure? What are you talking about?"
"Oh,
it was great! We were taking out a
rakghoul pack that had just finished off a Sith patrol. Veran noticed a special medkit on one of
them, and when he checked it out, we actually found a sample of an experimental
rakghoul serum! We brought it to Zelka
to have it analyzed, and he confirmed that not only was it a viable cure, but
it was something he could replicate in his facility! That little toad, Gurney, was a fit to be
tied!"
"Who
is this Gurney?" I was feeling very
confused now. They had found a cure for
some kind of local plague while searching for me? Exactly how much did I miss while being held
by that bastard Brejik?
"Oh,
Gurney was Zelka's lab assistant. He's a
greedy little bastard who tried to talk Veran into selling the serum to Zax at
the bounty office for Davik Kang. That
little core-slime looked like he was about to die when Veran just walked in,
handed it over to Zelka and then refused what little payment the Doc had to
offer." She glanced over at the
figure on the bed. "It felt really
good to do that. Its not often you meet
someone in the Lower City who'd go out of his way to help someone else. He even helped me get Zaalbar away from those
Gamorrean slavers, didn't ask for nothing as a reward. Though I expect a Wookiee life debt was
probably a bit more than he wanted."
I was
surprised, and it must have shown on my face.
There hadn't been much time to fill me in on what happened while they
hunted for me, and I had to admit, I never really thought to ask. I just assumed nothing of consequence
happened. Obviously I was wrong. Carth just smiled sympathetically at me. "I realize he's probably not your favorite
person in the galaxy at the moment, Bastila, but you've got to give him
credit. He may be inquisitive and
aggravating, but even I can't fault his character."
A groggy
voice from behind me said, "I assure you, any tales of my generosity and
kindness are greatly exaggerated."
He sat up slowly. "Very
well, Mistress, I await your wrath. I'm
sure the only reason you put me back together again was so I'd be in perfect
health so you could kill me for my 'arrogant bravado." he said in a
imitation of my voice and accent.
I just
glared at him balefully, refusing to rise to his bait. "That won't be necessary, Veran. I'm sure you learned your lesson. I trust next time you will heed my advice
before running off into danger." My
voice was cold and controlled.
"Absolutely,
mistress, as you command," he said with a sickly smirk. "Don't ever call me that." I
snapped, and I instantly realized my mistake.
"Yes,
princess. Or would you prefer Your
Highness?" His grin was wide enough to swallow a planet and Carth was
doing everything in his power not to laugh.
I should
have let him die on that bridge.
* * *
We all returned
to Javyar's cantina for our rendezvous with the
Mandalorian mercenary, Canderous Ordo.
The mercenary was at least as old as Carth, scars on his face and arms told
the tale of a lifetime of battle. He
surely participated in the Mandalorian Wars only a scant few years ago. I couldn't help but wonder how he would react
if he knew he faced the man who had so soundly defeated them. Our deal was that we provided launch codes to
clear the blockade, and he would provide the ship. Now that we had lived up to our end of the
bargain, it became necessary to take Veran and present him to Davik Kang as a potential
new recruit. Veran's reputation, both in
swoop and dueling circles, would be the perfect resume to intrigue the local
crimelord. However, I did not trust the
Mandalorian as far as T3 could throw him, and insisted on coming along.
Carth
again brought up the same problem as would have plagued us at the Sith military
base. Davik would surely recognize me,
if nothing else, than from the swoop race debacle. Canderous had a... solution of sorts. "Oh, it won't be a problem. She was the Vulkar's prize. Veran won.
That makes her his slave, as far as anyone in the know on Taris is
concerned. Just make sure Davik doesn't
see that fancy glowrod of hers, and he won't bat an eye."
"You
can't be serious! I refuse!! To even
pretend to be a slave to... to... HIM!
Absolutely not!"
Canderous
glared at her with impatience.
"Look, sister. You want to
tag along; you have to have a reason to be there. Veran has a reason. I have a reason. YOU need a reason. So either stuff the pride
or borrow the kid's pazaak deck and practice a few hands. I don't have time for this. I'll get my speeder. Meet me at platform C14 in 10
minutes." With that, the turned and
walked off.
"Bastila,
look, I know this doesn't sit well with you, given what you went through with
the Vulkar's but if you want to go along, he's right. It’s the only way to get you in, without
raising too many questions. Besides, we
both know I have as much chance of making you do my bidding as Zaalbar has passing
for a Jawa." Veran said with a sympathetic smile. "It'll just be for a little while. We get in, pander to Davik, wait for
nightfall, then we take the ship and get off this planet. It'll go a lot easier with you along. I could use some help with this."
The look
on his face made me soften just a touch.
I could feel his sincerity through our bond. He was right.
It was just an act, and he would need help dealing with Davik's
security, and maybe even that Mandalorian, should it turn out to be a trap. "Very well, Veran. You are correct. We should go quickly." I handed him my lightstaff, which he quickly
concealed in his pack.
"
"Well,
Bastila... no time like the present."
Veran looked at me solemnly. He
knew this was risky, but so far, it was our only option. I nodded agreement and we went to make our
rendezvous.
* * *
Davik
Kang was everything I had come to expect in those crime lords affiliated with
the Exchange: slimy, conceited, and
completely amoral. He was a human, in
his early 60s, with white thinning hair, but from the rather impressive
well-used set of custom battle armor he was wearing, he was obviously quite
used to taking care of himself. I was
quite shocked to find myself wishing I could kill him, and spare this world any
further damage from him. I realized that
it was Veran feeling this, not myself.
After all, I knew killing this man now would change nothing. Someone would merely replace him. A Jedi would only kill him if he was a direct
threat to others at that moment, in self-defense, or if the way had been paved
to dismantle his entire organization.
I could
feel Veran's utter contempt for the man echoing across the room to me, even
though nothing showed on his face as Davik showed us around his operation. It was disconcerting to feel such strong
emotion coming from him. Our bond was slowly growing in strength, though he
gave no outward sign of it having any effect on him, other than some odd
dreams. His talent was still there, but
latent now. I considered myself
fortunate that he could not read me the way I could him. It still shook me though. All my life, Master Vrook had taught me to
have a strong reign on my emotions.
While I was still considered headstrong by him, and the rest of the
Order, I had long wrestled to keep my emotions under firm control. Now I was deeply, almost intimately,
connected to a man whose emotions run freely.
What
astonished me more was how easily he seemed to live with them. Mine had always confused and frustrated
me. I longed for the easy self-control
demonstrated by the Council. Yet, Veran
seemed to take his in easy stride. The
strength of them seemed overwhelming to me, but they seemed to just... flow
through him, much as we are taught to let the Force do with us. I was confused. How did he do it? I had to admit, I feared for him. This is obviously what led him to the Dark
Side, and to all the pain and death we had suffered over the last two years. I
would not let myself be taken in by his mistake.
My
thoughts returned to the present as Davik led us to our quarters. Matters seemed complicated suddenly, as Calo
Nord came. The short yet bulky man
strode in confidently. I could see that
Canderous was giving Calo a look that should have roasted him alive. The two traded a few verbal shots at each
other, before Davik told them both to stand down. I was very glad I had come along. The man may be diminutive in size, but not in
skill. I had no doubt even the
Mandalorian would find his hands full with the bounty hunter. I was quite right that I was needed, despite
my role as “slave.”
It was
then that I heard Davik offering to house me in the slave quarters. It took all my training to keep for shooting
a scathing look at Veran, who replied, "No, thank you, Davik. I'd rather keep her with me. She's quite talented, and I must admit, I'm
unwilling to share her with others, as yet." He gave the crimelord a rakish smile as he ran
a hand down the side of my face. Part of
me wanted to bite his hand, but I knew that would not go over well with our
hosts. I did my best to look slightly
repulsed and scared at the same time, hoping Davik wouldn't question it. He didn't, fortunately. Actually, I think I could go for one of those
lovely massages you were talking about.
It’s been a rough couple of weeks.
I bit my tongue internally as Veran took off his armor and lay down on
the bed. "Well?!" he barked at
me. I glanced, seeing Canderous smirk
and Davik chuckle as he and Calo looked on.
The
bastard was playing me! He KNEW I
couldn't refuse... why that... I could feel his smug satisfaction, and it was
all I could do no to throttle him right there.
I calmed myself. I would not give
into this, no matter how frustrating he was.
There is no passion, there is serenity... I couldn't break role now, so I took up the
oil and began to work on his back, as he sighed contentedly. Davik laughed and said, "I can see he's
going to fit in well with organization.
As soon as your background check comes up clean, we'll get you to
work. Don't get too comfortable. I'd advise you not to leave the wing, but I
see you're going to be occupied for awhile." With that, he and Calo left. As soon as the door shut, I grabbed the
sensitive nerve where the neck joins to the collar, forcing Veran to clench his
teeth.
"I'm
sure that was very amusing to you on some juvenile level, but if you're quite
through, 'master' I suggest we move along." I said sharply. I gave the nerve another sharp pinch to
accentuate my point. Despite the
discomfort, Veran could not help laughing, and Canderous joined him. "It takes a rare kind to taunt a Jedi
like that. You must have Mandalorian
blood in your veins. Come on, we need to
find a way to deactivate the Ebon Hawk's
security shields." Veran rolled off
the bed and got dressed, then handed me back my lightstaff. Canderous hacked the door code, and we were
finally on our way. He knew the layout
of Davik’s estate. The hangar was to the
southwest. All we needed were those
codes.
* * *
Canderous
led us on a hunt for Davik’s chief pilot, who would have the codes to bypass
the security system in the hanger. We
were quite fortuitous to find the pilot
trapped in Davik's torture chamber, apparently for skimming some spice off the
top of his usual deliveries. He was only
too happy to tell us how to deactivate the security field guarding Davik's
smuggling ship in exchange for deactivating the pain booth he was trapped in. With the access code in hand, we went
immediately to the hangar. The few
guards in the halls were quickly and quietly dispatched by my lightsaber while
Veran and Canderous kept an eye out. But
as with all plans, ours hit a small snag.
As we
reached the hangar, we could see a rain of laser fire coming down enveloping
the city. It was a planetary bombardment.
Such a tactic had only one purpose, to wipe all life from the intended
target. But why? Taris was harmless as worlds go: too myopic
and self-centered to ferment a real rebellion.
Why commit genocide on an entire world?
It was then I realized the truth.
This is because of me. Malak
doesn't want me to leave this world alive.
I wasn’t the only one who realized this.
Veran muttered, "An entire world?
They'd kill an entire world for just one person?" I could hear the shock in his voice, and
disbelief reverberated down on bond, and the horror. I heard one thought clear as day. All of that... all of those people... and it
didn't matter... I realized he was
thinking of the Undercity Outcasts, the plague victims, and the debtors he had
helped. All those he saved, were about
to die anyway. A wave of despair washed
over me, something so profound that it almost knocked me off my feet. To feel such disillusion at a tactic he
himself would have embraced only a few months earlier...I suddenly wondered if
there was truly anything left of the Dark Lord inside him. But now was not the time for such thoughts.
As we
moved towards the Ebon Hawk, Davik Kang
and Calo Nord moved in from the opposite side of the hanger. "What's this? A group of thieves in the night? You just going to leave me to die, Canderous,
while you and your new friends slip away.
Sorry! I don't think so! Calo!!!
Kill them all, and lets get the hell out of here, before the damn Sith
bring this entire planet down around our ears."
Both Calo
and Davik drew their weapons and unleashed a hail of fire. I ignited my lightstaff, and threw it at the
crimelord. I allowed the Force to guide
my throw, and it arced through Davik Kang, bisecting him. As I called my blade back to my hand, Calo
realized taking all three of us without preparation was virtually
impossible. He drew a thermal detonator
from his belt and armed it. "I may
die here, but you're coming with me!"
Right at that moment, a barrage of fire punched through the hanger near
Calo, bringing the superstructure down around him.
Canderous
moved swiftly and punched in the access code. The shield around the Ebon Hawk shimmered and vanished. "Move it, people!" Veran and I ran aboard, and we took the
helm. It took a few moments for us to
familiarize ourselves with the ship's controls, but we managed to clear the
hangar mere seconds before a barrage of incoming fire ruptured the fuel tanks
inside. We managed to avoid most of the
incoming fire and made it to our apartment tower. Veran had sent the signal to evacuate as soon
as we cleared Davik's estate. The real
trick was lowering our shields long enough to get everyone on board, and hope
the Sith did not get a direct hit while we were vulnerable.
The Force
was with us and Canderous got everyone on board in under a minute. I moved back to help. Canderous and Zaalbar were struggling to find
someone to move T3 up onto the ramp without actually landing the ship. Given his design, it was proving
problematic. I closed my eyes and
reached out with the Force. T3 lifted
from Zaalbar’s grasp and slowly moved up the ramp in midair. I could hear the little droid’s bleeps of
confusion, which ceased when I finally set him down at the base of the
ramp. Canderous looked over at me and
said “About time you did something useful, princess.”
I was
about to retort when Carth came up the ramp, and asked to take the helm. Without a word, Veran slipped out of the
captain's seat, and let the more experienced soldier fly us clear of the
planet. Our Sith pass code, deactivated
the automated batteries in our flight path, but it immediately alerted fleet
command that someone was escaping. Two
wings of fighters were dispatched to take us out. Canderous and Veran took over the gun wells,
and with some deft maneuvering on behalf of Carth, the 6 fighters were quickly
dispatched. Carth asked for a location
to jump to, and I informed him to set course for Dantooine. Veran, just returned from his gun well,
seconded the idea and we leapt to hyperspace moments later.
I looked
up at Veran, who had this distant look on his face. He saw me staring and said, "I guess I
should go check on
"She
is strong. And so are you. Time will heal this wound, trust me."
He gaze
turned into the most hateful expression I have ever seen on anyone. "This wound will heal after Malak is
dead." he said in a low, cold tone, as he turned and walked back to the
crew quarters. The chill of dread filled
me. It seems there was something left of
the Dark Lord after all. I was very on
edge, almost… excited, and I’m not sure which unnerved me more.
I did not
sleep well the rest of the journey.
The
journey to Dantooine was uneventful. As
we glided through the misty morning clouds we passed flights of birds, and I
couldn’t help but feel at peace. It was
like this every time I returned here. No matter how awful the rest of the
galaxy became, this place was inviolate, as if the darkness that ran rampant
across the galaxy could not touch this place of peace and light.
Cart set
the ship down gently at the landing port for the Jedi Enclave. I had to keep from breathing a sigh of
relief. With everything that had
happened, I was eager to report to the Masters.
They needed to know what was occurring with Veran. I left the ship before the ramp had fully
lowered. I knew I was being impatient,
but I couldn’t help but feel justified in my hurriedness. I proceeded quickly to the council chamber.
Master
Vandar was the first to speak. “Relieved, we are, to see you again,
Bastila. When we heard about the Endar
Spire, we feared the worst.”
“Indeed. We had hope that you had escaped to the
surface of Taris, but with the Sith blockade, we were unable to get any
information about survivors.” Master Zhar added.
As
always, Master Vrook appeared displeased. “We entrusted you with a grave
responsibility, Bastila. It seems it was
presumptuous of us to send you out without a Master to accompany you.” I strove to control the blush that threatened
to creep into my face.
“Still,
the fact that you overcame such incredible odds is a testament to your skill,
young Padawan”, Master Vandar interjected. “Still, the loss of Revan… of what
was left of Revan is a grievous blow.
All our efforts to capture and preserve him were for naught, it would seem.”
I wanted
to respond, but my Master spoke again. “I warned the council that this was a
dangerous and futile effort. He should
have died at the hands of his apprentice.
It is better this way.”
I didn’t
want to speak out of place, but I felt I had no choice. “Masters… forgive my impertinence, but Revan
is not dead.”
I could
suddenly feel all 4 sets of eyes on me. “Explain yourself, Bastila. How is it
that Revan lives?”
I
launched into the tale of my capture by Brejik (though I will confess to taking
Carth’s advice about the bit about my lightsaber), and my rescue by Revan. I told them of my visions, and how he had
also been experiencing them. Master Vrook looked concerned, and it was Master
Zhar who spoke next. “Bring him before
us, Bastila. It is obvious we can no
longer hope to keep him on the outside of this.”
I
returned to the Ebon Hawk to find
Carth and Veran waiting by the ramp.
It was
something they had started while looking for me, and had only grown more heated
after my rescue. I was surprised to see
the two of them just laugh and shake hands.
Whatever had passed between them was obviously settled. I felt a small pang of guilt. Carth had lost much when his world was bombed
by Malak’s fleet while Revan was Dark Lord.
If he knew who he was really shaking hands with, he might well kill him
instead.
“Veran,
the Council would like to see you immediately.”
“The Jedi
Council? Him? What’s going on, Bastila?” Carth’s brow
furled in surprise.
“I’m
sorry, Carth, but this is Jedi business. I’m afraid I can’t tell you. Trust the
wisdom of the Council.”
“Alright,
Bastila, we’ll do things your way. For now.”
I led
Veran to the Council Chamber with only a brief interruption by
With that
distraction out of the way, the Council proceeded to interrogate Veran for his
version of events. Unsurprisingly, ours
matched almost flawlessly, though I couldn’t help but notice how he casually
mentioned how he rescued me, but this was not the place for petty
arguments. The Masters would know the
truth of the situation.
They
explained that he and I were linked, though when he asked how, they passed it
off as something the Force had decided. Not a lie, but not the truth
either. It was then that it struck me at
how adept the Council was at such deception.
For a moment, I could not help but wonder what I may have been told that
had such fine shading. I immediately
chastised myself for such thoughts. The
Council would never manipulate their own in such a way. Ve… Revan was a special case. They acknowledged his potential to wield the
Force, and to my surprise, they began to debate whether or not to train
him. My Master objected most strongly,
and when he commented on the Dark Lord’s return, Vandar seized the moment to
make this a closed session, and sent Veran and me back to the Hawk while they deliberated.
We all
ate together on the Ebon Hawk, and
talked about what happened at Taris.
I couldn’t help but feel like an outsider, in
some ways. All of them had grown up in a
relaxed environment, with friends and family.
Padawans did not socialize in the same way as the outside world, and
tonight it showed painfully. I felt
jealous of the lives they had lead, and thought of my father for the first time
in years. I immediately suppressed the
images, and went back to the women’s bunks to meditate on the Jedi Code. The Masters were right: emotional
entanglements were dangerous. These were allies, not friends. It was likely I
would never see any of them again after they left Dantooine.
I would
like to say that sleep that night was a release from my concerns, but it
wasn’t. In my dreams, I was swept into a
vision, of Revan, dressed as when he stood on the bridge of the Titan, and a younger Malak without the
cybernetic jaw. Revan was pacing impatiently
in front of some ruins I had seen once not too far from the Enclave. Malak was
expressing fear of what would happen if they broke the seal on the tomb, and
how they would never be allowed back into the Order if they proceeded. Without a word, Revan broke the seal, opened
the doors, and walked in. Malak, as he
had done all his life, followed faithfully behind his friend.
I awoke
from the dream, startled and sweating. I knew Veran had seen the same
thing. I could feel his presence in the
vision. This wasn’t like the last one we
had shared. I had assumed we were
reliving the same battle. This was a
memory fragment of the original Revan! Could he actually be recovering his
memories? I nearly ran to the Council
Chamber in my undergarments. I got a
hold of myself, dressed, and tried to walk there in a calm natural manner. Carth had awakened early and was working on
one of the ventral landing thrusters. I
nodded to him nonchalantly and proceeded to find Master Vandar in chambers.
“Most
disturbing this is, Bastila. It seems
our hope that we could learn Revan’s secrets was not a vain one. Though your Master objects, we have decided
to take Veran Shadowfyre as an apprentice.
Opening his mind to the Force can only enhance his recovery, and he
should be able to help us find a weakness in the Sith plans.”
The other
Masters had entered at this time. “It will be your responsibility to watch him
carefully, Bastila. This is a risky
plan, and should the Dark Lord return, you may be forced to kill him before he
can betray us all a second time. Do you
understand?” Of course, it was Vrook who
had added this.
“Does
this mean I am to remain with him?”
Zhar
nodded. “Indeed, Padawan Bastila. In fact, I would like you to assist me with
his training. He knows you and would
obviously feel more at ease with you.
Your bond should also allow you to better anticipate each other.
Besides, it would do you some good to see how the early training should be
handled.”
I felt a
small swell of pride at that comment. Only Knights and Masters were allowed to
train apprentices. That meant my own
trials could not be far off. If I
succeeded with Veran and stopped the war, surely I would be given my
knighthood. It was all I had dreamed of,
since I was a child, first brought to the Enclave for training.
Moments
later, Revan strode into the chamber, looking as shaken as I had felt
earlier. He bowed to the council, and
Master Vandar acknowledged him. “Bastila has told of us the vision the two of
you shared. It is now obvious more than
ever that the Force has chosen you to help stop Malak. After much deliberation, we have decided to
offer you training in the ways of the Force”
Veran
raised his eyebrows and blinked twice, then smiled sheepishly. “I don’t know if I’m worthy of such an
honor. Aren’t I a little old for this?”
“It is
rare but not unheard of, to take an apprentice at your age. Make no mistake. This will be a long and difficult road, and
if you choose to take it, your life will no longer be your own.” Zhar’s head tails twitched as he spoke.
Lowering
his head, Veran considered for several minutes before finally looking up. “I accept the offer. I don’t’ know if I am cut out to be a Jedi,
but I will give it my best.”
Vrook
finally spoke, his eyes narrowing. “Be mindful of your feelings,
apprentice. The path to the dark side is
quick and seductive, and we have lost many of our own to its embrace If you are
not vigilant, I am afraid you may find yourself traveling down an
all-too-familiar path.”
Veran stiffened,
and a serious expression came over his face, a look I was not used to seeing on
him. “I understand. I won’t let you down.” His eyes then glanced for a moment over at
me. “Any of you.”
Vandar
nodded and smiled. “Good, good. Master Zhar will train you in the ways of the
Force, and Bastila will be your training partner. The two of you share a special bond, usually
reserved for Master and Padawan. She is young, but in this area, she is more
experienced than you. Feel free to share
with her, and anyone else here, any concerns, problems, or fears that you may
have during your training. Just as we
draw from the Force, so can the Jedi draw from each other.”
I was not
so nervous as I thought I would be. Originally, I had hoped the Masters would relieve
me of the burden of this passionate, impulsive man, but now I found myself
warming to the thought of training with him.
Revan may have been raised by the Order, but Veran Shadowfyre knew much
of the galaxy outside the Enclave, and I wanted to know more about him, and
what it was like living one’s own life.
I knew his memories were false, but they were real to him, and this
would give me an excuse to experience another life, if only vicariously. I would never give up being a Jedi, but
sometimes I could not help but wonder what I would have been like if Mother
hadn’t foisted me off on the Order at her earliest convenience. Yes, I was looking forward to this.
* * *
The weeks
sped by. Carth and the others decided to
stay on Dantooine. Carth had contacted the fleet, and Admiral Dodonna gave him
his long-overdue shore leave. Apparently the Sith had ceased their aggressive
advances for the time being, and Carth was not needed on the front lines any
time soon. The Republic was regrouping
and rebuilding as quickly as it could, as was the Council. It was obvious that a lot of hope was being
placed on Veran, though no one spoke of it openly.
Veran
mastered the basics with a speed that bordered on miraculous. He accomplished in just 4 weeks what took me
4 years as a child. The other Padawans
were whispering. Some claimed he was the vergence in the Force, prophesied long
ago by the ancient Masters when the order was first founded. Master Vrook scoffed openly at these rumors,
but Vandar and Zhar stayed silent on the matter. I would have ridiculed it as
well if I had not seen him levitating 4chairs and himself and a datapad in the
air on only his second week. Even Revan
had not learned so quickly. Some amnesiacs keep combat skills and reflex
actions. Could it be that his Jedi
training has survived on some subconscious level?
I did not
have the answers, and neither did Master Zhar.
He did not let this deter him from training Veran as thoroughly as he
could. I am not ashamed to admit it, but
it wasn’t long until he was besting me in our dueling sessions. My fear of what he might become grew, as did
my respect for him. He was kind, but brash; funny, but arrogant. There was so much light in him, but I knew
that light could cast a shadow darker than anything we had ever seen if it grew
to blind him.
We spent
a lot of time together. He could sense
the Council’s silent concern, and the rumors of the other Padawans. He withdrew from everyone but Zhar, myself,
and those who came with us from Taris.
It was obvious that he felt more comfortable with that motley band of
misfits than with the Order, and I could sympathize. My own headstrong nature kept me at odds with
everyone around me. I knew my emotional
control was not as good as it could be, and so I tried harder than anyone else
to be the best Jedi I could be. Let them
call me rash; I would be the council’s perfect instrument.
Veran
would often come to me to debate the Jedi Code. It amazed me how he would argue
against what he called “impracticalities” in the Code. I was scandalized. Rashness was one thing, but the Code was
absolute. I realized how dangerous he was all too well. Towards the end of his apprenticeship, the
call chime went off, waking me. I
slipped into a wrap and found him waiting.
“Veran,
do you know what time it is?”
“Of
course I do. That’s the point. Come on.”
He gestured with his head and then started walking. Without really thinking, I followed him. “Where are you going?”
“Out. I’ve been in this enclave for almost a month. I want to see what the plains of Dantooine
are like, and lie out beneath the stars.
Since you’re my appointed guardian, I figured I should let you know so
you could tag along and keep me out of trouble.” He bypassed the security on one of the maintenance
tubes and proceeded inside.
“You
cannot go out! Not until you’ve
completed your apprenticeship! You know
that! The Council said…”
“I know
what the Council said, and I don’t care. I’m a scout. I’ve lived my entire life moving from one
place to another, seeing new and different things. As fun as training has been, I want to see
Dantooine, and I’m going, with or without you.
Now you can either go back to your quarters and pout, or you can come
with me. Either way, feel free to report
me in the morning.”
“I do NOT
pout! And you’re quite right, I will
inform the council of your delinquent behavior.
As for letting you out, since I cannot stop you, I will have to
accompany you. The kath hounds have been
more violent of late. They may not be nocturnal, but no one should be out there
alone. If you insist on this
foolishness, I have no choice but to protect you.”
“There
now, that wasn’t such a difficult decision, was it?” After a few minutes of crawling through
maintenance shafts, Veran opened a panel that led to the outside of the
Enclave. He helped me out of the tube,
and then just looked up at the stars, smiling. “By the Force, I’ve missed this.
Now where to…”
I sighed
and shook my head. Perhaps I could keep
him from doing anything too foolish. “Follow me, I have a favorite spot for
stargazing.”
“You? Stargaze?
Forgive me for saying so, Bas, but you don’t seem the type.”
“That
alone should prove to you that things are not always what they seem. I have loved looking at the stars ever since
I was a little girl. Here we are.” Not far from the Enclave was a small pond,
surrounded by a field of wildflowers.
The moons reflected off the still water of the pond and just for a
moment, you could almost believe it was a mirror of glass, instead of water.
“I take
it back, Bas. You really know how topic
a spot.” He laid himself down next to
the pond and looked up. I sat
cross-legged and leaned back looking up.
“My
father used to take me out at night and help me name the stars.” I said wistfully.
“There is
something I’ve been wanting to ask you, Bas, but I’ve been reluctant to”, he
said after a prolonged period of silence.
“Feel
free. And for the last time, please don’t call me that.”
“Sorry,
Bastila. I know we’re bonded. But what else does this mean besides sharing
random visions of Revan and Malak? I’ve
asked Zhar and Vandar and they’ve been very polite and very evasive. So now I’m asking you. What does this do to us?”
I closed
my eyes for a moment and collected myself. I had known this would come. “The
bond means we can share emotional experiences.
Jedi have always been able to read others’ feelings, but a bond of this
nature means that such perceptions are easier, and span much greater distances
than normal, even for a Jedi. They can
also be rather… intense. As you grow
more adept, its even possible that such a bond would become telepathic in
nature, allowing a sharing of thoughts and mingling of minds.”
He lay
silent for a moment. “That sounds
incredibly… intimate.”
At first I
thought he was making a rather poor attempt at a come-on, but then I heard the
tenseness in his voice.
“Yes, it
can be. It is not something to be
relished as a rule. Such bonds are
rare. If you don’t mind my asking, it is
quite obvious that bothered you. May I ask why?”
He rolled
over onto his side, and stared into the pool, his fingers playing lightly in
the water, ripples playing across its once smooth surface. “You know from that little pop quiz you
pulled on me last week that I’m from Derallia.
Well, when I went to the university to get my degrees in anthropology
and stellar cartography, I met a woman.
Her name was Ketalyn, and she was in the literature program. We met in our galactic history class, and hit
it off. One thing led to another, and we
were… very close.”
“You were
intimate?”
“Yes. It was a whirlwind romance. I know you Jedi have no real knowledge of
this, so this may be difficult for you to understand. We were in love, or so I thought. There was talk of marriage after we graduated. We talked of a partnership: I’d discover,
she’d publish. Our futures looked
perfect.” He just stopped. I could feel grief echoing down our bond.
“She left
you.”
“Yes. She broke it off with me after about 6months,
no real explanation. I later found out
she had gone back to an ex-lover of hers.”
“As I
understand it, these things are rather common in such relationships” I said,
not quite understanding where he was going with this.
“It
wasn’t just that she left me. This guy
used her; emotionally abused her; he regarded her as little more than a trophy,
an object that he deserved and no other. And she took it without
complaint.” He slammed his fist into the
pond, and the moon in it exploded into waves.
“What I don’t understand is why she left me… for someone like that.”
“I am the
wrong person to ask. I have never been
in such a relationship. The Code forbids
it. I cannot begin to tell you why
people would subject themselves to such an abusive pairing. All I can tell you is that you need to let it
go. This anger obviously still eats at
you. It could lead you to the Dark Side,
if you let it.”
He sighed
and lay back down. “I know. I don’t know why it stays with me. It was just… the happiest time of my life,
and sometimes I can’t help but remember her and wonder, “what if…”
He closed
his eyes, and suddenly a cascade of images washed over me. Veran and a tall, statuesque brunette talking
and laughing; then they were cuddling on a balcony overlooking a city skyline. I felt a softness and a tenderness, and at
the same time I felt a fire unlike anything else I had ever known. I couldn’t help but think is this love? Another was the two of them entwined beneath
silken sheets, and suddenly I was experiencing an act I had never known. I could feel the heat rising within me, and
realized it was coming from him.
As I
struggled to suppress the bond, another image floated into view, of Veran
walking through the city and seeing the woman and another, smaller man cuddled
together against a balcony as they once had been, and a burning rage welled up
within me. I knew in that moment, that
Veran wanted to kill them. No. He wanted
to kill him in front of her and make her watch. He wanted her to suffer as
profoundly as he had. The power of the
hatred that swept over me in that instance didn’t terrify me; it stunned me
with its clarity and power. I had always
thought of hatred as a weakness, but in that moment, I saw it for what it was,
and realized now how Revan and Malak had become so powerful in the Dark
Side. Hate was a dangerous and powerful
emotion. And this was what that love had
led to. The Masters were right to forbid
such entanglements.
I also
could not help but wonder where these memories and emotions came from. None of the Masters had such experiences; all
were raised by the Order. I did
eventually ask Master Vrook where the memories came from. His answer disturbed me almost as much as
what happened that night: they didn’t
know. The technique used to restore his mind was powerful and ancient and an
enigma. All they knew was that the
memories Revan had were not his own.
Suddenly
the connection broke, and Veran was looking up at me, blushing furiously. “Oh hell, Bas, I’m so sorry… I didn’t…I
mean. Damn.” He reached out to me for a moment, but I
pulled away. “It is alright. I shall mention to Master Zhar that we should
add more emotional control training to your regimen tomorrow.” I stood up, and gathered all the poise I
could muster. “Come. Its late and we
have to be up at dawn.”
Without a
word, Veran followed me back inside. I never did report the incident to the
Council.
* * *
After
that night, I kept a wall between Veran and myself. His dark side was overwhelming. This new persona may be different, but it was
obvious the capacity of the Dark Lord still lay within him. I knew I would have to be ever-vigilant when
it came to counseling him against the dangers of the Dark Side. Master Vrook
shared my concern, and I knew him to be right.
But there was still light there, and as a Jedi, it was my job to nurture
that glow.
After a
month, and the shortest apprenticeship in the history of the Jedi Order, Master
Zhar decided to give Veran his first tests.
The Jedi Code he passed with ease.
He and I had spent many nights going over the Code and its many
interpretations. The second test was of
the construction of his lightsaber. To
my surprise, Master Dorak declared him best suited to as a Jedi Sentinel, the
same as myself. He assembled his lightsaber, and aligned his crystal
flawlessly; another brick for the wall that was becoming his legendary feats as
an apprentice.
Finally,
Master Zhar sent him to investigate an ancient grove believed to be the source
of the kath hound problem. Of course, I
knew about the Cathar Jedi, Juhani, and her ill-fated duel with her master,
Quatra. I was forbidden by the Council
from assisting him with this, as were the rest of the Jedi in the Enclave. So, he set off with Carth and Canderous in
tow. After they left, Vrook expressed
his opinion that Juhani would not survive the encounter. Zhar snorted but didn’t say anything. He had grown rather fond of Veran, and no
longer sat on the fence as to the rightness of saving him: he firmly agreed with Vandar that Veran
would be invaluable.
They were
gone for most of the day. At first, we
wondered what could have happened, but then we started getting reports. First, Master Twi’lek returned from his
criminal investigation, and mentioned how our miracle apprentice deduced the
double crime that had taken place earlier that morning. Later, one of the farmers came in,
congratulating the Council on sending the young Jedi to finally deal with
Mandalorians that had been raiding the outlying farm communities. Vandar and Zhar were pleasantly surprised,
and even Master Vrook appeared pleased.
The real
surprise came when Juhani came back into the complex as twilight set in. I was consulting with the Council on Veran’s
training when she entered, and prostrated herself before the assembled Masters.
“I know I
am not worthy of forgiveness, Masters, but the one you sent to deal with me has
given me hope that you might grant it. I killed my Master in anger, and gave
myself to the dark side, but I see now that I was wrong. The one called Veran showed me my folly in
following the Dark Side, in thinking myself strong in my anger and my
hate. I know I give into my emotions too
easily. I am willing to accept whatever punishment you deem necessary. All I ask is that you allow me the chance to
redeem myself.”
Master
Vandar came down and bid her rise. “Juhani, such forgiveness is
unnecessary. Quatra did not die. She
baited you into attacking her, hoping to show you the danger of the Dark Side. I’m afraid she succeeded a bit better than
even she anticipated. You had a moment
of weakness, but it was only a moment.
If you have learned something of yourself, and truly seek to change your
passionate nature, then all was not lost.
Welcome back, Juhani. You have
been missed.”
Slowly
and trembling, Juhani stood back up and looked up at the other Masters. “I will not disappoint you again. I swear this.” Zhar dismissed her, and told her to await
their decision on her new Master.
After she
left, Master Vrook actually smiled. “I may have been wrong about young Veran. He brought her back to the Light. There may be more of the Light left in him
than I would have believed. I can only
hope he doesn’t lose sight of it in the dark days ahead.”
A short
time later, Veran and his hunting party returned. Canderous seemed rather put out once they
were told the full story of Juhani’s “fall.”
I think part of it was because he was rendered helpless by Juhani’s
stasis field. If it hadn’t been for Veran,
he would have died under her saber blade. Carth did not seem very happy either,
as the two warriors were sent out of the Council Chamber.
“Veran
Shadowfyre, it is the determination of this Council that you have passed the
Apprentice Tests with high marks, and you have succeeded beyond all our
expectations. It is my pleasure to
welcome you fully into the Jedi Order, Padawan.” Zhar shook Veran’s hand and I
did not need a bond with him to tell that he was happy.
“Thank
you for returning Juhani to us, Padawan. You did a great thing.” Master Vrook
said. Veran managed to cover the look of
surprise. It was probably the first nice
thing Vrook had said to him the entire time he’d been here. I couldn’t help but be envious. Vrook gave praise sparingly.
“Now we
must deal with the matter of the vision you and Bastila shared. Go to the ruins outside the Enclave and
determine what Revan and Malak may have found there. Now that your training is over, we are
assigning Bastila to journey with you.
It is obvious the Force has chosen the both of you for this.” Master Vandar dismissed us.
As we
turned to leave, Alhan Sandral, a wealthy homeowner on Dantooine stormed into
the chamber, demanding to know why we had not investigated his son’s
disappearance, blaming his neighbors, the Matales. After Sandral stormed out, Vrook decided we should
see if we could resolve the incident while we were at it. The whole affair was sordid and
pointless. Small men and smaller minds
bickering over imagined slights. I would
not have wasted my time with such as these, but Veran decided to intervene.
In the
end, we discovered that the Matale son died of a kath hound attack, which led
the father Neurik to kidnap the Sandral boy. To make things just ridiculously
melodramatic, the Sandral boy and Neurik’s daughter fell in love, and Veran
felt the need to help them elope. The
feud hasn’t ended, and the children have been disowned, but they are happy. I
couldn’t help but notice a certain satisfaction coming from Veran as well. I think in some small way, the whole thing
helped soothe the wound left on his heart.
It did not matter if I knew those memories to be false; they were real
to him, and that’s what mattered.
* * *
After
that little side trip, Veran, Carth, and I made our way to the ruins. Unsealing the door was easy, since Revan had
done it for us. Inside we found the body
of Nemo, one of the most revered knights in the Enclave. He was an elderly Consular, and while he had
never achieved the title of Master, he was often sought by the Padawans when
they had problems they didn’t want to take to their own Masters. I came to him myself from time to time, to
vent about Master Vrook. Now he lay
dead, and I felt sad. Another person
claimed by this war.
A strange
droid stood in the center of the chamber. It kept trying to communicate with us
in a variety of languages neither Veran nor I could understand at first.
“Wait, I
think I actually understood that! It’s a dialect of ancient Selkath. But why
would a droid on Dantooine speak Selkath?”
I couldn’t understand, and it was obvious from the way he glanced down
towards the floor that he didn’t either.
The droid
croaked out in the strange tongue, “I was left by the Builders to guard the
Star Map, until the Builders return. I am programmed to speak the languages of
the slaves. You are not slaves, but
neither are you the Builders. You are
like the two who came before.”
Veran
shot a glance over to me, “Revan and Malak?”
“It must
be.”
“What of
this Infinite Empire you speak of? I am not familiar with such an entity.” I was curious as to who had built these
ruins.
“The
Infinite Empire rules the galaxy.”
Yet
another confused look. “When did you
last hear from these Builders?”
“The last
communication with the Builders took place 9 revolutions of this system’s
outermost planet”
We all
just stood there dumbfounded, and it was Carth who first recovered his
tongue. “But… that would have been
almost 20,000 years ago! That’s
impossible!”
Veran
withdrew back into himself and seemed to be pondering the implications of these
revelations. I corrected Carth. “Not necessarily. The Republic is only 15,000 years old. We thought only the Hutts had an empire that
predated the founding of the Republic, but historical records are sketchy at
best.”
Veran
came out of his reverie, and added, “No matter what, this could seriously
re-write ancient history, but that isn’t our concern right now. This thing mentioned something else. Guardian, what is this Star Map, and why do
you guard it?”
The droid
hissed and whirred for a moment. “The Star Map shows the length and breadth of
the Infinite Empire. It is a record of
all that the Builders achieved. Only
with the Star Map may the Star Forge be located.”
I shared
another glance with Veran. This could be
just what we need! He asked before I
could. “What is the Star Forge?”
“The Star
Forge is the culmination of the Infinite Empire. It is their most magnificent achievement.”
I was
growing impatient with this odd droid. “But what IS it?”
“The… The
Star Forge is the culmination of the Infinite Empire. It is their most magnificent achievement.”
“This
droid obviously only contains a set of pre-programmed response. Further inquiry will doubtlessly prove
futile.”
Carth
looked concerned. “It sounds like some
kind of massive factory, or maybe some kind of ultimate weapon.”
“Either
way, we need to find it. Assuming that
Revan and Malak actually found it, it’s no doubt the key to all Malak’s
plans. Droid, where is this Star Map?” It was always amazing to see Veran shift from
the care-free scout into such a determined person. Carth, a veteran ship commander and a leader
in his own right, just naturally fell into line when Veran took charge. It was obvious the ability to command respect
was another of his abilities that did not rely on memory.
There was
another linking pause as the ancient droid whirred and clicked. “The Star Map lies beyond the door behind me,
but first you must prove your worthiness and break the seals in the two
chambers to my flanks. Be warned,
failure to prove worthiness results in death.”
I
couldn’t help but ask. “Is that what
happened to Nemo?”
“If you
refer to the being lying on the floor, yes.”
The air
became thick with tension. Nemo was old
but capable. Whatever lay beyond these
doors was deadly. Veran moved to the right-hand door. Inside was a large
chamber, and on the far side lay some kind of computer console. As we moved into the chamber, the door sealed
behind us, and a droid similar to design to the Guardian emerged from an
alcove.
It opened
fire with some kind of carbonite ray, and it targeted me first. I was frozen, unable to engage my lightsaber,
or to even move. Veran ignited his and
leapt into melee range. Carth was out of my line of sight. Veran attacked the
droid with his usual grace, but it possessed some kind of energy shield that
his golden blade just glanced off of.
In a
matter of moments, he had fallen back, pressed to the wall under the droids
assault. He could not hold it off for
much longer. I could feel his fear
through our bond, but it was fear for me and what would happen to me should he
fall, rather than for himself. It was frustrating beyond words! I had never
been so helpless and it terrified me more than any Dark Jedi. I accepted death, but not like this! I wanted to be free, to fight, and to save
him. Where was Carth?!
Just as
the thought ran through my mind, a saw a small sphere fly through the air and
land beneath the droids spidery legs. An ion flash went off, and the shield
that protected it crumbled. Taking
advantage of the opportunity, Veran lunged forward with the tip of his
lightsaber and impaled the droid.
The
freezing effect wore off at that moment, and I was free. Carth came walking over. “That was close! Good thing I decided to bring a couple of ion
grenades along with me in case we bumped into any ancient booby traps. You two okay?”
Veran
lowered his lightsaber, and laughed. “I am now.
Though next time, don’t cut it quite so close, will you? I may be a Jedi but I’m not so eager to
become one with the Force just yet.
Thanks.”
“Forget
it. I still owed you for taking out the
Vulkar who was sneaking up behind me.”
“Yeah,
but I still owe you for getting me off the Spire in the first place.”
“Gentlemen,
I’m sure this game of ‘Who Saved Whom is quite entertaining among old soldiers,
but some of us would like to get back to the mission at hand.”
For a
moment, the two of them looked like two little boys who had been caught rifling
through their parents’ bedroom, looking for birthday gifts. “Right.
Sorry, Bas. Lets go check out that terminal.”
I was
getting exceedingly tired of that pet name.
He had no right to call me that, but I realized scolding him would do no
good, so I ignored it. The terminal was in another language, which was not
surprising. After punching some buttons
and allowing a datapad link, the terminal accessed our language files and
reconfigured itself. It was some kind of
basic planetology quiz. Veran just shot
me an amused look and punched in the correct answers without even pausing. The terminal responded that the answers were
correct and that the first seal was unlocked.
The
second seal was identical to the first one, complete with homicidal droid. Fortunately, we entered prepared this time,
and the droid was made quick work of.
The quiz this time as simple as the first, and moments later, we were
entering the main chamber.
Inside, a
large inverse tripod opened to our presence, and a holographic galactic map was
displayed. We all stood there, examining
it in detail.
“Well,
it’s millennia out of date, alright, but a decent navicomputer should be able
to compensate for stellar drift,” Veran commented.
“Look at
how some words are highlighted and referenced. If I read these descriptors
right, the four present are Kashyyyk, Tatooine, Manaan, and Korriban, a Sith
world,” I informed them.
Carth was
as enthralled by the Star Map as we were. “I don’t see any sign of a Star Forge
though. Not surprising, the map is
incomplete. Look, there and there and
there, whole chunks of the galaxy are missing.”
“These
four worlds were obviously important to these ‘Builders.’ Maybe we can find more information at one of
them?”
“That
would seem to be our only course of action, however thin that it is. Come, we should inform the Council
immediately.”
* * *
The
journey back to the Enclave was uneventful and filled with silence. We were all contemplating what we had
learned. So far, we only had more questions and precious few answers.
The
Council had little more light to shed than we did. Though they had long known of the ruins,
ancient Jedi Masters had sealed them for reasons unknown, and the Council did
not want to disturb them without reason until now.
Master
Vandar gave us our new assignment.
“Veran we wish you to visit the four worlds mentioned on this Star Map
and find this Star Forge before Malak can move again. Normally we would not send one with so little
training go out without a Master, but we fear this would only draw the
attention of the Sith. Instead, we
appoint Bastila as your mentor for this mission.
“Also,
Juhani has requested to accompany you, and we feel this would be a good thing
for the both of you. Remember the lesson
she represents. Even the best of us can
fall prey to the Dark Side,” Master Vrook warned.
“May I
bring my companions from Taris with me?
The Ebon Hawk would make the
perfect vessel, and I could use all the help I can get.
Master
Zhar nodded his approval. “You may,
young Padawan. I imagine they are
growing tired of the Enclave, and would relish the chance to travel again. May
the Force be with you both.”
We left
the council and found everyone assembled aboard the Hawk. Veran explained to
them our mission. “You have all done us
a great service, and I cannot ask this of any of you. No one has to come along. I’m sure the Council will offer anyone
shelter here or passage of Dantooine to anyone who wants it.”
Canderous
stood up. “I will not stay on this boring farm world. You are obviously flying into the heart of
the storm, Veran Shadowfyre, and there is no place I’d rather be. With you, I can find honor in battle against
worthy opponents again.”
Carth looked less than thrilled by that little speech, but he, too, was not
staying behind. “I had a feeling this
was coming, so I contacted Admiral Dodonna.
She’s reassigned me to assist the Jedi Council in this matter. Besides, the Hawk could use a real pilot,” he smirked.
“Hey, you
know me. I’ve always wanted to see the galaxy.
And any chance to screw over Malak and his goose-steppers is okay by
me. I owe them for Taris,”
Zaalbar
reminded Veran of the life debt he swore to him for rescuing him, and that he
was coming along whether he liked it or not.
Of
course, T3-M4 was in. Veran was his
master. Where Veran went, the little droid would follow.
Veran
looked over the group and smiled. “Thank
you, all of you. Okay then, lets do
this. Carth, lay in a course for
Kashyyyk. Looks like you get a
homecoming after all, Zaalbar.”
The Wookiee growled noncommittally.
Carth and
I went to the controls and laid in a course.
The Force only knew what lay before us, but whatever came, we would
succeed. We had to; there was no other choice.
Author’s Note: Astute readers will notice early on that what
Veran is doing would be called “katas” here in our distant galaxy. I had no idea what the Jedi term for it would
be, so I tried to describe as best I could.
The
journey through hyperspace was even more peaceful than our stay on
Dantooine. In some ways it felt good to
be away from the Council. I would never
have admitted this to anyone, but the responsibility my Battle Meditation has
placed upon my shoulders was sometimes a heavy burden to shoulder. I was never left a moment of peace anymore,
except to meditate, and even then I could not shake the feeling of the masters
always watching me.
In
contrast, the trip to Kashyyyk was both chaotic and soothing. These people were far from the quiet,
disciplined Jedi I was used to.
Unlike
myself, Juhani did not seem bothered by this.
She seemed to enjoy talking with
On the
ship, I kept up my meditation, sometimes with Veran, and other times with
Juhani. Unlike myself, for him, it came
with great difficulty. I had heard that
some Jedi require a “moving meditation” of repair work. Veran was different still; he meditated
practicing saber technique. It wasn’t
the usual combat drills and reflex tunings that Jedi commonly practice, but a
kind of… poetry in motion. He would move
his lightsaber in slow fluid motions, eyes shut, just letting the Force pass
through him.
The first
time I witnessed him meditate in this fashion, back on Dantooine, it made me
uneasy. I perceived at as focusing too
much on the combative areas of a Jedi’s life.
But as I watched him, I realized there was no violence or malice
anywhere in his form. The blade moved
with a gentle grace that had none of the characteristics of any combat style I
had seen while studying at the academy.
I soon found myself mesmerized by his motion and fell into my own
meditative state watching his body move as he and his lightsaber danced across
the training room floor. Instinctively,
our bond widened and we found ourselves in a shared meditative state.
For a few
brief moments, our minds touched and I felt the serenity he had wrapped himself
in, and I knew he was strangely content, and yet anticipating what was to
come. I pulled back and put the wall I
had built to shield the bond back in place.
I decided since that night he talked me into sneaking out of the enclave
that it was better to keep it dampened until I learned how to better control
this link we shared. It was not unusual
for a master and apprentice to share such an experience, but I was not
expecting it to happen with him. Despite
the Council’s warnings, it seemed I was unwilling to acknowledge the bond on a
conscious level, and as a result these little surprises kept happening. I realized then that this bond was going to
be deeper and more long-term than I wanted, and the sooner I accepted and
adjusted my routine to account for this, the more surprises lay in store for
me.
Veran had
tried to meditate in the standard fashion, but he found it difficult to remain
in one place for so long. I chided him
for his inability to focus and his response was that the whole reason he became
a scout for the Republic Exploratory Corps was because he found peace in the
journey, not just the destination. It
was easier for him to focus his energies while doing something than it was
while just sitting still. It was Master
Zhar who suggested that he try some form of moving meditation, and Veran
decided he’d combine it with saber exercises.
In just a few days, he had worked out the routine I had witnessed that
day. The master was pleased and even
commented he might recommend it for other students who had difficulty mastering
the sitting meditations.
In fact,
Juhani had come to him, our third night out from Dantooine and asked him to
show her how to meditate as he did. Of
course, I was invited to join in, but I refused, stating I preferred more traditional
methods. I did stop to watch once, as I
passed through the ship, on my way elsewhere, I don’t recall why. I watched as she stood next to him, and they
moved in tandem, paralleling each other.
I felt envious for a moment that she should so easily join with him in
meditation. Watching them move in sync
together, I felt something stir in me that I had not felt since I had lived
with my parents: jealousy. I made a silent vow to not refuse the next
invitation.
Veran
spent the rest of his time with the others, and had started dragging me to what
he called “sabacc time.” Pazaak was the
preferred card game for gamblers, but was only good for two players at any one
time. Sabacc was a new game that was
just coming into popularity. It allowed
for more players and did not rely on collecting and building a side deck. “Jedi do not indulge in games of chance,” I
protested, but Veran, as always, had a counterpoint.
“Jedi
must keep their mind sharp. Games of
chance, sabacc in particular, teach us how to read our opponents and to
calculate odds. They can also teach us
when to engage in a bit of calculated deception and when to flee. Can you honestly tell me these aren’t skills we
should hone every bit as much our ability to use the Force?” I could see the impish gleam in his eye as he
knew I could not easily refute such an argument. He held out his hand to invite me to
sit. I ignored it, but sat at the table
anyway.
Carth was
smiling as he said, “C’mon, Bastila. I
know you Jedi need to meditate and practice all the time, but it’s good to spend
some down time with your comrades too.
Besides, we don’t play for real credits, just rations. It’s just our way of bonding. Why else would an organization that relies on
military discipline permit it on-ship?”
“Yeah,
Bastila! Besides, you can watch me take
these old geezers for all their worth in ration packs. There hasn’t been a card game invented that I
didn’t master.”
“Bah,
youth and skill is no match for age and treachery, girl. Just because the stakes aren’t real, don’t
expect me to go easy on any of you. The
tactics of the gaming table are little different from the tactics of the
battlefield: bluff, deception, feint,
luck. Only the details differ.”
“Uh,
thanks for that rousing speech, Canderous.
But why don’t you put your rations where your mouth is? Or are your glory days behind you?”
Canderous
swore a few choice oaths at the young girl.
It seemed like a fight was near to breaking out, but Veran and Carth
looked unconcerned and in fact seemed to be laughing at the whole
exchange. I needn’t have worried, for as
soon as Canderous stood up, Zaalbar’s shadow fell across him, and his growls
said what would happen if Canderous laid a hand on the Twi’lek youth. For a moment, the Mandalorian and Wookiee
sized each other up, and then Canderous sat back down and told Carth to deal
the cards.
I am
loathing admitting this, but I learned to enjoy these sessions. While I lost much more often than I won, I
began to feel somewhat at home with this eclectic group. Somehow, Veran was becoming the adhesive that
kept everyone together. Carth and
Canderous were both older and more experienced, but they deferred to his
judgment, though I doubt either really realized they were doing it on any
conscious level. Revan had always been
said to have a gift for inspiration and leadership, and this obviously held
true for his reincarnation. Our feisty
Zaalbar
kept to himself, but honored his life debt without hesitation. He had become even more withdrawn during the
trip to his homeworld. When we finally
touched down at the spaceport, he seemed positively furtive, for a Wookiee, at
least.
As we
approached the arboreal planet, I had a dream of standing at the bottom of a
great forest, with trees so large as to defy belief. I could hear the calls of strange avian
creatures in the night air, and before me another inverted tripod like the one
on Dantooine opened in front of me. I
could not, of course, make out any important features of the map it
displayed. I woke up with a start, and
quickly moved to the main passenger area.
There I found Veran coming from the opposite direction. “Did you see it too,” he asked, as he tried
to brush the sleep from his eyes.
“Yes. The Star Map was obviously deep inside the
forest, on the surface of Kashyyyk, where not even the Wookiees travel
regularly. We may learn more after we
land.” I stood there for a moment,
trying to collect my thoughts when I noticed Veran staring at me for a
moment. It took an instant for me to
realize that I was so caught up in the importance of the vision that I hadn’t
bothered to pull on a robe, and I was standing there only in my
undergarments. Another heartbeat and I
realized he had done the same thing. We
both stood there in a moment of awkward silence.
While
Veran’s were more of a short-limbed bodysuit, I had always been fond of more
elegant and flattering designs. It was
one of the few frivolities I could indulge in as a Jedi, as personal effects
were largely discouraged. We were
allowed to choose our own clothing, within certain parameters, and none of the
Jedi Council had even laid down stricture as to what undergarments were
acceptable and which weren’t. Perhaps it
was a conceit to wear ones that showed more skin than they covered, intended
for form over function, but something about them made me feel feminine, and
surely the Force would allow me one small private indulgence, as no one else
would ever know, since intimacy was forbidden.
I was the
first to turn away. “Such looks are not
becoming of a Jedi, Veran. Control your
emotions.” I chastised myself for
appearing embarrassed. A Jedi should not
be concerned by such petty things as modesty, so I stood straight and placed a
hand on my hip, trying to show that the situation had no erotic overtones,
hoping to defuse the situation.
He
stammered for a moment, and then he seemed to collect himself. A crooked smile appeared on his face as he
responded, “Forgive me for saying so, Bastila, but such a look is very becoming
on you.” He bowed once, turned and walked
back to the stateroom. I stood there,
looking indignant, watching him walk away for a moment, before I noticed Carth,
with another look like he had during Veran’s duel with Bendak Starkiller, and
looking back from the pilot’s chair. He
had the decency to spin back around when I noticed him. Men… I
stalked back to my bunk, dressed and joined Carth back on the bridge. He wisely said nothing.
* * *
How to
discuss the events of Kashyyyk? I
honestly am not sure, even now. I
accompanied Veran on his search for the Star Map, this time with
Our
shared vision indicated that the Star Map was on the forest floor, and the only
way down the kilometer high wroshyr trees was with Wookiee permission. Upon trying to enter the village, Zaalbar was
taken before Chuundar, and we of course followed. There, surrounded by Czerka Security, the
treacherous Wookiee confirmed everything we had gleaned in the Czerka settlement. In fact, the only way we could access to the
area known as the Shadowlands was with his permission. He ordered us to kill an insane Wookiee who
had taken refuge on the planet’s surface.
Chuundar held Zaalbar as a hostage to ensure our good behavior. Veran agreed to his terms, and we set out for
the surface.
After we
left the village, I turned to Veran.
“Surely we are not going to act as assassins for this Wookiee. While we need to find the Star Map, we should
not allow ourselves to be used like this.”
“She’s
right! We can’t just let that overgrown
carpet do this! We gotta help Big Z,
Veran!” It was all I could do to keep
“Don’t
worry, either of you. I have no
intention of leaving Zaalbar in the hands of his sithspawn of a brother, nor
will I do his dirty work. We’ll find a
way out of this. Trust me.
“Oh no, you
don’t! You’re not leaving me on the ship
while you guys go down there, not this time!”
Veran
took the upset girl gently by the shoulder.
“This isn’t Taris,
“Well…
maybe I don’t, but I can handle myself!”
“I’m not
saying you can’t, but we need to stick with our specialties. We’re about to head down to into an
exceedingly nasty place, and we need the right people for the right job. We couldn’t have gotten off Taris without
you, but right now, I need someone who knows his way around a hostile outdoor
environment. Tell you what, why don’t
you head back to the village and keep an eye on Chuundar. He may try something underhanded now that
we’re gone. You’re the only one they’ll
let stay there. They only see a small
alien girl. They don’t know you the way
we do.”
“Frell! You’re right!
That scum-sucking core-slime may try to knife Big Z without someone to
keep an eye on him. You send Carth or
Canderous and they’ll just toss ‘em right back out.” She looked up annoyed at him. “How can you be so obviously connin’ me, and
still make sense?”
“It’s a
gift,” he said with a slight smirk. “Go
on. We’ll wait at the Y-junction of the
Great Walkway.”
I watched
as
Veran
seemed to take my sudden lecture all in stride.
At first I suspect him of humoring me, but he seemed to genuinely pay
attention. I wished I was merely being
overwrought, but I had my orders as to what I should do, should the Dark Lord
threaten to return, and I found myself hoping that I would never have to follow
through on those orders. Like Carth and
the others, I had begun to grow fond of this man. His new personality had all the charisma of
his old. I knew who he was and what he
used to be, and yet I still felt drawn to him.
It wasn’t just the bond. While it
was far from gone, I had managed a level of control over my end of it. No, it was the way he seemed at ease
anywhere, no matter how alien the setting.
It was how he seemed to find something humorous in everything, even when
it irritated me. There was just,
inexplicably, something about him.
I heard
the sound of someone approaching from the Czerka camp and we turned, expecting
Carth. Instead, a yellow-skinned Twi’lek
was approaching. I was about to resume
my conversation with Veran when she spoke.
“Bastila?! Excuse me, miss, but are you
I was
shocked. I had not heard the name of my
mother in many years, nor was I pleased to hear it now. “Yes, I am Bastila. How do you know my mother or me for that
matter? I came off as a bit terser than
I should have, but hearing that name set me immediately on edge.
“Oh
forgive me, I am Silya and I worked with your parents on some of their
expeditions. Your father kept showing
off holos of you. You’re much older now,
of course, but I thought it was you. Has
there been any word on your mother’s condition?”
“Condition?
What condition? What’s wrong with
her? Has anything happened to my
father?” A note of concern began to
creep into my voice.
“I’m
sorry but I have not seen your parents for some time. When last I spoke to
The
concern began to evaporate, and a note of suspicion took its place. “No, I’m afraid I haven’t spoken to my
parents since I left home. Where did you
last hear from her?”
“The last
transmission I had from her originated from Tatooine. She didn’t give details, but she implied she
was very ill. I can’t tell you anything
more.”
“Thank
you for this information. It was a
pleasure meeting you.” I turned my
attention inward as I tried to puzzle out the possibilities of what I had just
been told.
The woman
bowed slightly once. “I’m just glad I
found you in time.
Veran
just stood there, his eyes downcast.
“Well that was one of the most unusual encounters I’ve had since waking
up on Taris. What are the odds that we’d
not only meet a friend of your parents, but that your mother is waiting on one
of the worlds on our list?”
“Her
illness is probably nothing more than a small virus that she’s milking as an
excuse to get me to find her. While I
have little desire to see her, I would like to learn of my father, and as you
pointed out, it is not out of our way.
If we could, I’d like to try and find her on Tatooine.”
“Of
course, it’s not a problem. We’ll simply
head to Tatooine next as soon as we’re done here. I’m sure everything is fine,” he added, the
concern on his face matching the tone of his voice.
I just
nodded once, avoiding his gaze. It would
not do for him to see me overly concerned for parents I had not seen in
years. This was the reason why Jedi are
taken as young children, to avoid these kinds of situations. How could I be an example to him if I could
not keep my own emotions at arm’s length?
“You’re
lucky, you know.”
“What?” I turned to look at him, brushing a strand of
hair back into place.
“I never
knew my parents. They died when I was
very young. The state on Derallia took
care of me. I was raised in a private
school, not too dissimilar from the enclave in some ways. It was a lonely life. I never really had many friends until I went
to university. It’s one of the reasons
why I don’t approve of their recruiting techniques. Yes, a child may be easier to mold into the
perfect Jedi, but it’s also why we’re so alienated from the rest of the
galaxy. We should be a part of those we
protect, not separate and aloof. In many
ways, I envy you. You got a few years
with your parents and with friends. Its
more than many of even your fellow Jedi had.”
My face
softened a tad. “Perhaps you’re
right. But it’s that streak of emotion
that has been one of those things that Master Vrook has tried to get me to
overcome. I know that I am headstrong
and rash. I try not to be, but it’s
difficult. He says I was right on the
edge of acceptable age for training, and that the Order took a chance in taking
me. It is my obligation to show them
they were right to do so.”
“Have you
ever stopped to consider that the Council might be wrong? Yes, they are wise, but they are still mortal,
and everyone makes mistakes.”
“No, I
haven’t, and neither should you. The
last Jedi to question the will of the Masters were Revan and Malak, and we have
them to thank for this senseless slaughter that’s been perpetrated against
Taris, Telos, and a dozen other worlds!”
Revan
shook his head. “I don’t mean outright
defiance of the council, and you won’t get any arguments from me about Revan
and Malak, but Carth made an excellent point when you two were arguing about
the Council’s inaction on the way here.
Without them, we’d have lost the war.
We have no way of knowing what would have been if Revan had listened to
the Council; maybe better, maybe worse.
I can’t be certain. My point is
that blind obedience is never the right answer.
Sometimes, you have to shut up and do what you’re told, but there are
other times when you need to question what you’re told. The Jedi and the military prefer it one
way. Smugglers and pirates prefer it the
other. What I’m saying is that there
needs to be a balance between the two.”
“Perhaps,
but I am not so arrogant as to turn a blind eye to the centuries of wisdom
accumulated by the Order. They can see a
larger picture we cannot, and it would be wise of us to trust in that
vision.” That sense of dread I had come
to know so well since I first this man was upon me again. These were some of the same arguments Revan
made to the Council back on Coruscant.
Please, don’t let him start down that path. I don’t want to have to hurt him… I found
myself pleading to the Force, flashes of the black-robed figure I confronted a
year ago playing in my minds eye.
“Bastila? What’s wrong?” I returned to reality in time to see him
standing closer to me, looking concerned.
I realized I had turned away and moved to the railing of the walkway,
trying to gather my thoughts. Earlier,
he had accused me of “scrunching up like a kath pup” when upset, which I
vehemently denied, only to be proving him right again. As a Jedi, my control over my “tells” should
have been better, and normally were. It
wasn’t just the bond, as I had hoped. I
was losing control of my emotions, the longer I stayed with him. I needed to redouble my efforts. I tried to find a way to explain away my
reaction when Carth walked up.
“Sorry I
took so long, people. You won’t believe
this. On her way back to the Hawk,
Revan
pulled away from me and walked over to the fleet officer. “Tatooine, is it? Apparently that’s where Bastila’s mother is
too. I’m not one to tout the usual
clichés, but two long absent family members showing up on a world we happen to
be going to anyway, it can’t be a coincidence.”
Carth ran
his hand over the perpetual stubble he seemed to maintain. “That’s funny. I didn’t think the Force got involved in
domestic disputes.”
Veran
lapsed back into that crooked smirk he seemed to love when he thought he was
being humorous. “Never underestimate the
power of the Force.” I let out a sigh as
I reached up to touch my temple. The
trek into the Shadowlands was going to be trying for more reasons than just the
native wildlife.
* * *
Despite
having to put up with some rather painful attempts at levity, the trip proved
more interesting than any of us had anticipated. Deep below the forest canopy, we found an
outcast old man, fending off a herd of wild katarn with a lightsaber! He was a man of dark complexion, bald, with a
short beard. He introduced himself to us
as Jolee Bindo. I did not recognize the
name, but it was obvious that he could feel the Force. He was a bit… cranky, I believe is the word,
and he would tell us little about himself.
He had us drive off some local poachers in return for acting as a guide
into the dark heart of the Shadowlands.
It seems he had found the Star Map while stranded on Kashyyyk and could
lead us right there. The Force was with
us.
With only
a few hours journey, we found a large computer that seemed to control access to
the Star Map. It utilized a holographic
interface that utilized the form of an unknown alien race, with a cone-shaped
head and two eye stalks that extended out on either side. Much to the surprise of everyone but me, it
recognized Veran’s brainwave patterns, even altered as they were, and put him
through a test to confirm his identity.
The questions were standard behavioral types, but the answers being sought
were better suited to a Dark Lord of the Sith.
The first
one he passed admirably, choosing to place his trust in friendship. The second one, which involved around a
choice between making crushing an enemy and protecting a friendly city, did not
go as well as I hoped. He seemed to
agonize over the decision, and tried to divide his forces for both goals, but
the computer would not permit such a response.
His answer was to permit the destruction of the city to end the war more
swiftly, resulting in fewer losses of life in the long-term. This was a standard tactic of Revan; during
the Mandalorian War, he would often abandon Republic systems of little
strategic value to reinforce his position elsewhere, leaving them to the tender
mercies of the Mandalorians. Despite the
death toll on those worlds, the Senate heaped medal after medal on the
Knight-Errant for his “brilliant strategies.”
The third
question was similar to the second, except that it revolved around a peacetime
scenario. This time Veran responded as a
proper Jedi, which resulted in a failure on the part of the computer, which
triggered a pair of droids to try and kills us.
These were shielded in the same manner as the ones in the ruins on
Dantooine, but were better equipped. It
seemed that we might be overwhelmed this time, but Jolee had a knack for using
the Force to disrupt droid systems, and with his assistance we vanquished them
handily. The computer then reactivated
and allowed Veran access to the Star Map, stating that analysis during the
battle had shown him to be a valid user.
Veran and Carth seemed confused, though I remained conspicuously
silent. Strangely, Jolee didn’t seem
very surprised either. I made a mental
note to talk to him when privacy permitted, about many things.
The Star
Map activated, and we were able to fill in a few holes in the navigational data
provided from the one on Dantooine, but it was still not enough: key sections were still missing. Nonetheless, we had proven that a culture
much older than anything on record once walked the stars, and seemed to even be
responsible for the wroshyr trees and perhaps even the terraforming of the
entire planet and its biosphere.
Yet, one
problem still remained. We had the Wookiee
situation to deal with. We agreed we
could not play assassins, but we needed to get Zaalbar back without having to
slaughter the entire Wookiee village in the process. Jolee again guided us to our goal, which
turned out to be Zaalbar’s father, Freyyr.
He attacked us on sight, thinking us Czerka slavers, but Veran managed
to best him without permanent injury. He
told us the story of Chuundar’s usurpation, and his regret at ignoring his
youngest son’s attempts to warn him.
Veran persuaded him to return to his village and overthrow his son, but
the Wookiee elder claimed he would need the blade of an ancient weapon to make
his case. I would never have admitted
this to the others, but I was beginning to wonder why we seemed to be the only
ones capable of performing some of these tasks.
I know the Force has a destiny in mind for us all, but it seemed like an
unusual number of items required retrieval and that those that wanted them seem
to lay in wait for our arrival. I know
it’s a very petty stance for a Jedi, but as my tale continues, you’ll soon see
what I mean.
To make
this story shorter, we retrieved the blade for Freyyr who said he’d meet us in
the village. He had to go his own road,
to find what allies he might have left among the tribe. We made our way back to the lift back to the Great
Walkway. As we approached the lift, we
found Calo Nord and a group of bounty hunters laying in wait for us.
The
diminutive little toad drew his blasters, grinning like a firaxan shark. “You’ve led me on quite a chase, but you’re
mine now. I owe you for Taris, and Malak
is willing to pay any price to have you all alive, but not unharmed. I only regret that Canderous isn’t here for
this little reunion, but I’m sure I’ll find him with your ship. Maybe I’ll say hello to that little Twi’lek
you’re carting around. Tell me
something, boy, is she as tight as she looks?”
Carth was
the one who shot back first. “I knew you
were scum, Nord, but trash-talking about a girl? I heard better snappy banter back when I was
in diapers.” Carth drew his two blasters,
as Jolee and I pulled out own blades.
Veran
just scowled as he drew his lightsaber.
“Jedi aren’t supposed to give into hate, but forgive if I say I’ll feel
a small surge of satisfaction when this is over, Calo.” He did take a moment to glance back at me and
wink. “I will feel bad about your
henchman though.” Insufferable
male. I knew attempts at humor were a
standard response by soldiers to keep morale, but Veran seemed to take a little
too much joy in treating this like a cheap holovid.
“Heh,
hope you still talk that way when I deliver you to Lord Malak. Take ‘em down, boys!” Arrogance is always the failing of those who
believe themselves the best. If he and
his men had surprised us, he might have won, but by taking the time for this
little display of machismo had given us all time to prepare. I knew we’d make short work of them, as my
golden blade extended to life.
Carth
laid down a swath of suppressive fire, driving Calo’s Rodian companions diving
for cover. Jolee unleashed a Force Whirlwind
on one of the others. I was making ready
to throw my lightstaff at Calo, much as I had Davik on Taris, when I felt Veran
send me an image down our shared bond of us flanking the bounty hunter. I had been assuming that Veran had little
knowledge of how to use our bond; something else I would have to
re-evaluate.
Veran
charged Calo with me right behind him.
His blade deflected the barrage of blaster fire, until he did a back
flip over the bounty hunter, landing behind him, in a dueling stance. Calo spun to face him, dropping his blasters
for a pair of vibrodaggers. However, he
neglected to remember me, and left his back exposed. I cut him down just as he realized his
mistake, and was turning his head to put me back in his peripheral vision. Veran brought his single golden blade up in a
salute and a wink, and then turned to help Jolee deal with his Rodians, as I
moved to assist Carth. The battle itself
took less time than the banter that preceded it.
Jolee
looked over at me with a raised eyebrow.
“Normally this is where’d I’d tell you to be on your guard, but if this
is the caliber of bounty hunters in the galaxy these days, then I’d just be
wasting my breath. It’s not like you
kids would listen to my warnings anyway.
Pah. That’s the problem with
young people. You think you’re
invincible.”
“And the
problem with you old people is that you think you’re always right.” Veran always had to be quick with a retort,
but to my surprise Jolee only laughed.
“Good, kid. Never take anyone
seriously. Not me, not her, and
especially not yourself. Now go on,
scoot. Don’t you have some Wookiees to
liberate?”
“Ah,
thanks for reminding me. I must be
getting senile. You coming, old man, or
would you rather stay down here and admire the flora for a few more
decades?” Jolee only huffed grumpily,
but the slight smile on his face as he clipped his lightsaber back on his belt
showed he may not be as cantankerous as he liked to act. We climbed into the lift and slowly raised
ourselves out of the Shadowlands
* * *
Upon
returning to the Great Walkway, we learned that civil war had broken out among
the local Wookiees. Freyyr was
confronting his son over leadership of the clan. One of his supporters met us a short ways
from the lift and escorted us to the chieftain’s hut via a series of
treacherous climbs across the wroshyr branches to avoid harassment from
Chuundar’s loyalists and Czerka security.
We arrived in time to see Zaalbar and Freyyr rise up against him.
We did as
he directed, and within moments, Czerka and Wookiee guards littered the
floor. We stood in silent observance, as
Chuundar dueled with Freyyr and Zaalbar.
None of us seemed worried, and for good reason. The re-united father and son soon dispatched
their traitorous relation, though not before offering him several chances to
surrender, all refused. In the end, Freyyr
reclaimed his position as chieftain, and welcomed his son home.
Zaalbar
informed his father that it was important to honor his life debt to Veran, now
more than ever. All he asked in return
was for Bacca’s Blade, the sword we had helped his father reclaim. It was the symbol of chieftains and it would
mean Zaalbar would one day take his father’s place. I knew little of Wookiee
culture, nor was I in much of a mood to learn.
All this emphasis on family had me thinking about what, and who, was
waiting for me on Tatooine.
I did
manage to take Jolee aside during our trip to Tatooine. I cornered him in the medical bay, while the
most of the others were still asleep. I
quietly shut the hatch behind me as I entered.
“Forgive me for asking, Jolee, but you did not seem at all surprised by
the ancient computer’s last-second verification of Veran. May I ask why?”
He turned
around and looked at me, not with suspicion but amusement. “Why ask me what you already know? Better yet, why not ask a better question? How is it that such a fine, upstanding young Padawan
like yourself is playing babysitter to a Dark Lord of the Sith; or how about an
even better one? How come he doesn’t
know he’s a Dark Lord of the Sith?”
I had
steeled myself for this. He was
obviously a member of the Order, even if he had been absent for some time. He must have come from one of the other
enclaves, perhaps even Coruscant itself.
If that was true, then it was possible he knew Revan as a young man,
before he started wearing the full body armor and mask, and recognized him now
even now.
Reluctantly,
I told him the tale of Revan’s capture and his brain-damage, as well as how his
new personality had seemingly manifested itself from nowhere. The aged Jedi just sat on the medical table
and listened, head bowed as if contemplating my every word, and he did not look
up again until I was finished. “That’s
quite a story, kid. I don’t really know
what to tell you, other than that I won’t tell him either. It’s not my place. If you want my opinion, though you probably
don’t, it’s that it should be yours.”
I turned
away from him, looking downcast. “I am
under strict orders from the Council. If
he were to learn the truth, it might break him.”
“Ahhh
yes, the infinite wisdom of the Jedi Council hasn’t gotten any less infinite
since I was under their care. Have any
of you stopped to think what would happen to him if he learns the truth from
another source, hmm? I know few have
seen Revan unmasked, and I’d be willing to be most of the holos of him have
been erased from the Jedi Archive for ‘security reasons’ since his accident,
but sooner or later, he will figure it out.
Haven’t you noticed that he’s been more and more suspicious of how all
these ancient computers and artifacts seem to want to respond only to him? Oh, don’t so concerned yet. I don’t think
he’s figured it out, but he knows something’s up. I’d be willing to bet the only reason he
hasn’t pressed the issue is because of you.”
“Because
of me?” I turned to look at him
quizzically.
“Ugh, you
may be a gifted Jedi, girl, but I know Miraluka who see more clearly than you.”
“Miraluka
see everything thanks to their connection to the Force.”
“I know
that! Stop interrupting me and
correcting my metaphors. Now what was I
saying… oh yes, He’s developing feelings for you girl, and his smart-ass
irreverent demeanor aside, he takes you very seriously. I’ve known you both
only a couple of days, and it’s so obvious it might as well be written all over
him. And over you as well, I’d wager.”
I was
incensed at his suggestion that I would allow myself to show my feelings about
Veran, not that they existed. “Don’t be
preposterous! You know as well as I that
the Council forbids such attachments!”
Jolee
just shook his head and grunted. “Decrees and rules don’t mean it can’t
happen. One day you’ll see that your
precious Council isn’t infallible girl.
Trust me; I’m living proof of that.
He cares about you, and it’s not just because of that bond you share,
though it’s certainly helping things out in that area. Been sharing more than just random flashes of
memory, haven’t you?”
“That is
none of your concern, Jolee.” I did not
like where this conversation was going, and I needed to extract myself from it
quickly. “I thank you for your candor on
this matter. I shall deal with Veran as I
see fit. I’ll see you at dinner.” With that, I spun on my heel, opened the
hatch and went back to the women’s dorm, just in time to see
* * *
The trip
to the remote desert world of Tatooine went otherwise without incident. I’ve described in detail how the crew likes
to spend their time, and I won’t bore you by re-iterating the details
again. The one difference was that I no
longer had to be pulled into various social activities by Veran. I even tried to let him teach me his
meditation techniques, though to be honest, I was distracted by thoughts of my
mother and father. I was not looking forward
to seeing her, and I knew the Council would frown on my contact with them, but
something compelled me. It was as Veran
said; it was as if the Force were pulling me there.
I am
ashamed to say I paid little attention to events on Tatooine.
We were
stopped by an angry Duros cursing a human female in the cantina. From the epithets he bandied, I knew it had
to be my mother, though I doubt she’d appreciate being called a “pit rancor”. I wanted to go straight there, but
A hunting
license was needed to exit the city, which the Czerka executive was only too
happy to give us for taking care of the Tusken raider problem. As we exited the offices, we were confronted
by another irate Duros. This one was an anthropologist
who was insisting there had to be a peaceful way to end this dispute, but that
Czerka was unwilling to explore the option.
He pointed us in the direction of a local droid shop where a protocol
droid who could speak Tusken was available.
We agreed the droid would be worth the expense. Kashyyyk had shown us the business practices
of Czerka Corp. and none of us had any love for them.
We
finally reached the cantina and the confrontation I had been dreading. Just as the first Duros said, my mother was
inside sitting at a table, her bearing as though she was holding court on
Alderaan, not sitting in a dingy cantina in the Outer Rim. I muttered ever so lightly under my breath
“There is no emotion, there is peace.”
As I was about to move forward I felt a small squeeze on my
shoulder. I turned my head to see Veran
looking at me reassuringly. He said
nothing, but I could feel his encouragement. Steadying myself I stepped
forward. She looked up, confused.
“Hello,
I’m sorry, do I know you?”
“I’m
here, mother, or don’t you recognize?”
“Bastila? How could I do that when I haven’t even had a
picture of you in years? Do you know how
long I’ve been trying to find you?” Of course. The first words out of her mouth had to be
some kind of beratement. At least there
were some constants in the galaxy.
“You knew
as well as I did that communication would be impossible once I joined the
Order. Now what is this about? Where is father?”
“Then you
haven’t heard. I should have
known.” A hollow note in her voice
caused my pulse to quicken.
“Heard
what? Are you going to tell me or
not?” I could feel myself growing more
and more impatient, but I already knew what she was going to say.
Mother
glanced down at the table. “Your father
is dead, Bastila. That is part of the
reason I was looking for you.”
“Dead…
What happened? What did you do that got
him killed?!” I snapped.
“Isn’t
this a lovely reunion? She’s already
hurling insults at me. You…” she said,
inclining her head to Veran behind me.
“You’re one of her friends. Do
you treat your mother this way?”
“My
mother is long dead, actually.” I could
feel a hint of sorrow in his voice as he said it. I remembered how he told me he envied me my
time with my family, back on Dantooine.
Mother
actually looked sympathetic for a moment.
“Is that so? Well I suppose I’ll
be joining her soon enough.”
I had had
enough of this. “I was told you were
sick mother. Are you actually dying or
is this just melodrama for my benefit?”
“Such
sweet things you say,” she said, exasperated.
“I suppose I should tell you everything before we start arguing again.”
“You
could start by telling me what you got father into that killed him.”
She stood
up angrily. “I hadn’t realized Jedi were
so spiteful. You want me to tell you I
brought your father here for an expedition, do you? You want to blame me for his death? You never understood. I was always to blame for everything. You father loved going out on his hunts,
leaving you with me. Yes, I brought him
here, to hunt for krayt dragon pearls.
He took an expedition out into the desert, and he died.”
My
quickened heartbeat suddenly froze. I
knew… I had prepared myself for this revelation, but it didn’t matter. Maybe she was wrong. She had to be, but I knew she wasn’t, even as
I asked. “How can you be sure? Father was an experienced…”
She
didn’t give me the chance to finish.
“Don’t be daft, girl. I wouldn’t
have gone to all this trouble if I wasn’t sure. They were attacked by a krayt
dragon. One of the guides fled, and he
saw your father killed.”
“I
see.” I felt hollow inside. I hadn’t
seen my father in years, but to hear that was dead just tore at something
inside me. This greedy, spiteful,
selfish woman had finally gotten him lead him to his death. “So what is it you want from me, mother? Credits?”
“Don’t be
ridiculous. I want you to use those Jedi
senses. I want you to find him. I want you to bring back your father’s
holocron.”
I could
no longer disguise my disgust for her.
“Why? So you can sell it?”
Mother
was growing incensed. It was good to see
her break that icy demeanor of hers; always so proper and controlled. It was satisfying. “Is it too much to ask that I have something
to remember your father by? No, of
course it is. You couldn’t be bothered!”
I just
shook my head. I don’t know why I
came. This was foolish. “We are on a very important mission for the
Jedi Council, mother. Ask my companions
if you doubt me.”
Veran
moved forward, standing next to me.
“What about your mother’s illness?”
“It seems
to have little bearing on what she’s asking.
Are you actually sick, mother?”
“What
difference does it make to you? None,
I’m sure. ” She sat back down in her
seat, looking back up at me defiantly.
“Just find your father’s holocron, and you’ll never have to worry about
me again either way.”
I let out
a long sigh and tried to reign my emotions in.
“Exactly the kind of response I would expect. Very well.
We shall look for the holocron if we have the time. I will make no promises, however.”
“Fine. Your father was headed out towards the deep
As we
left the cantina, Veran pulled me aside. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I
reluctantly looked up at him. “About my
mother? I’m unsure. I find it difficult to remain objective where
she’s concerned. I find that…
disturbing.”
He looked
sympathetically at me, the vaguest of smiles forming at the right side of his
mouth. “She certainly seemed to get to
you easily enough.”
“I told
you my mother and I never got along. That obviously has not changed. Now father is dead. That leaves a hurt inside you cannot imagine…” I glanced back up at him to see a look of
pain flicker through his eyes. “Oh,
Veran… I’m sorry. Of course… that was
senseless of me.”
“Don’t
worry about it. I barely remember my parents.
I was only 3 when they died. I
mourn their loss and how it affected my life, but I don’t really mourn them, if
that makes any sense. You, on the other
hand, were very close to your father.
Its only natural it would upset you.”
It was than that I noticed that my hand had somehow wound up in
his. I don’t remember him offering it or
my taking it. It had just happened.
“Thank
you. I… just don’t want to talk about
this right now. We should get
going.” I pulled away and began walking
down the dusty road to the droid shop.
* * *
The droid
shop was run by an Ithorian named Yuka Laka.
He sold us the protocol droid, a blood red mechanoid designated
HK-47. Protocol may have been one of its
functions, but it was certainly not its primary one. It was sarcastic, caustic, and
bloodthirsty. It also had a penchant for
calling organic lifeforms “meatbags”, a term that I found quite disturbing, as
did Mission. Veran seemed amused by its
antics though. He did a quick systems
check to confirm that it would not harm its owner, and then removed its
restraining bolt. The four of us then
proceeded to leave the spaceport.
I spent
the rest of our trek through the “city” thinking about my father and my mother
and my life before the Order. My musings
were interrupted at one point by
Once we
left Anchorhead, I was able to sink back into myself. I paid little attention as he helped a hunter
escape a deathtrap set by his estranged wife.
In fact, I found the delay more than a little annoying. When I mentioned congratulating his wife,
Veran shot me a look that was rather disparaging look. It wasn’t very Jedi-like of me, but my own
inner turmoil was projecting itself onto my every word, it seemed. I spent the rest of the journey in
silence. We dispatched some marauding
Tuskens with easy and used their uniforms to get close enough to their
encampment to speak with their chieftain.
For all his homicidal tendencies, HK-47 proved to be an asset in
translation.
The
Tusken Raiders were attacking because Czerka was intruding on sacred
ground. Also, they appeared to have some
kind of religious aversions to machines.
I wasn’t paying much attention as Veran and HK seemed to have the
situation well in hand. All it took to
appease them were a pair of moisture vaporators and they not only promised to
reduce attacks, but they released their prisoners: a handful of Jawas and
With the
Sand People appeased, we were given a map of the western
After
what seemed like hours under the burning suns, we reached the dragon’s
lair. It was a cave of gigantic
proportions, visible even from a great distance. There we found a Twi’lek hunter named Komad
Fortuna. We arrived just in time to
watch his companion enter the cave.
Moments later, we heard his screams.
Fortuna was there to slay the beast to help preserve the ecological
balance on Tatooine, and to repeat the great hunt of his father before
him. There was another pang in my heart
as I heard this story; he was not the only there to slay this beast in honor of
their father. I wanted to ask him if he
knew my father, but I stopped myself. I didn’t
want to know. It would only make it hurt
more. Blast it, I was supposed to be in
control of my emotions, not the other way around.
Fortuna
had lain down a minefield just outside the mouth of the cave. All he needed was someone to herd some
banthas near to the cave to draw the beast out.
I immediately volunteered our services, which drew a strange look from
The
bantha herding provoked some nearby Tusken raiders, who considered the bantha a
sacred animal. The fight was brief, and
hardly worth mentioning. Once the
banthas were close enough, the dragon emerged.
I had no idea one could grow so large.
I doubt father did either. If he
wasn’t prepared for such a beast… yes, my father was truly dead, and there
would be no remains to recover. I doubt he was more than a bite to such a
monster. My awe was soon replaced with
satisfaction as the great lumbering beast strode into the middle of the
minefield.
It took
almost a dozen detonations, but the krayt dragon fell. Komad looked almost saddened by his
victory. He babbled some hunter nonsense
about denying the beast honor or a final battle or some drivel like that. I didn’t care. The thing that murdered my father was
dead. I thought I would have been happy,
but all I felt was emptiness inside. I
felt a hand on my arm. Veran just looked
at me, nothing in his eyes that I could read.
He said nothing. He just touched
my upper arm for a moment, and then walked forward into the cave.
Inside
was another Star Map, surrounded by the ruins of an ancient structure that the
sands had subsumed eons ago. Shattered
statues bore a resemblance to the strange alien we saw in the holo-interface
for the computer on Kashyyyk. There was
a lot of refuse as well. Apparently the
dragon lined its cave with things taken from meals that it found
indigestible. As Veran and
It was
not in vain. After but a few moments of
searching, I found a holocron.
Activating it, an image of my father, carrying me on his shoulders, as
we stood on a hill over-looking the ruins of Ossus, the ruined Jedi library
world, appeared. My mother had insisted
we go there, looking for lost artifacts of the Jedi Order we might be able to
sell them. In fact, it was that
expedition that had brought me to the attention of the Jedi. Master Vrook was the one who came to inspect
the scrolls and tablets we recovered from one of the ruined libraries, and it
was he noticed my potential to use the Force. My entire life changed that day.
I felt my
eyes beginning to water, and I clamped down.
No. I had already given in to
anger, annoyance, and revenge since seeing my mother. I would not give into grief. No more.
I would not have Veran or
”Are you going to give it to her?” he asked quietly.
I quickly
shut off the holo-image. “Do you think I
should?”
“You
might want to consider it.”
Yet
another sigh escaped my lips. “That
would just lead to another argument. How
I always despised talking to her. I’ll
think about it about. I should try and
remember my training. It shouldn’t be
this difficult. Can we not talk about
this anymore? I need to think.”
“What you
need to is to sort through your feelings.”
He said calmly, and with that, he turned and strode out of the
cave.
* * *
Returning
to Anchorhead, I knew I finally had to make a decision. I walked into the cantina with Veran.
“I have
the holocron, mother. I’m just not sure
I want to give it to you.”
She
actually had the nerve to look surprised.
“Would you deny me even that?”
I looked
sternly at her. “I’ve never denied you
anything, mother. You think I don’t
remember what it was like before I left, but I do. You were the one who always pushed father
into his treasure hunts. I remember the
arguments. You loved living in wealth. You were the one who wanted to give me to the
Jedi Order, even though I didn’t want to go.
You took father away from me, and this holocron is all I have left of
him.”
That was
when I saw something I didn’t expect to see:
a look of amazement. “Fool girl,
you have a strange way of remembering things.
That wasn’t how it…”
I cut her
off. I didn’t want to hear any more of
her lies. “No, I don’t wish to argue
anymore, mother. I think its time we
parted ways, for both our sakes.”
“Don’t
you think you should at least listen to her?”
Veran had finally decided to interfere.
I turned and looked at him, the hurt and anger I had pent up for all
those years finally showing in my face as well as my voice.
”You don’t know her. She is notoriously
deceptive when she wants something. Why
should she have the holocron?” Even I
was taken back a bit by the venom I heard in my own voice.
Mother
finally got up from the table and moved around to look me in the eye. There was something in the way she walked,
something I hadn’t noticed earlier. She
was in pain. “Is it too much to believe
that I’m a dying woman who just wants to see her husband one last time?”
I heard
Veran’s voice from behind her, though I could no longer see him clearly. “One of you needs to give the other a
chance.” There was this soft tone in his
voice, not pleading, but patient. I
heard it in Master Vandar’s voice many times, as well as Master Zhar’s. It touched something in me at that moment,
and I softened, just a touch.
“You’re
right. It shames me, I just… I find it
difficult to… to let go of the past.”
Something inside me let go as I admitted it to both of them; a pressure
on my chest finally lifted.
Mother
closed the distance and laid both hands on my shoulders. “I know I was hard on you, Bastila. I was never a very good mother, I know
that.” Her voice was cracking. “Your father loved you so. He wanted you to be just like him. He wanted to take you with him on his hunts,
but I said it was too dangerous.”
“But you
let him go on these dangerous excursions,” I heard Veran comment. My head was bowed. I couldn’t look at either of them. I didn’t want them to see how wet my eyes
were becoming. Mother let me go and
turned to face him.
“I always
tried to keep him from the dangerous ones, but he would nothing of it. It was a reckless life we led and it was no
place for you.”
I wiped my eyes clear while their attention was diverted. “That was why you gave me to the Order?”
“What do
your father and I have for all those years?
Nothing. That was no life for a
child, especially someone as gifted as you,” she said as she turned back to
me. “Your father spent his last years
trying to pay for my treatments. That
was why we came to Tatooine; for krayt dragon pearls. I begged him not to…”
“Your
treatments…” She wasn’t being melodramatic.
Perhaps I had always known but just didn’t want to see it. It was so much easier to just see her as I
remembered; to just hate her.
It was
her turn to look down at the floor. “I’m
dying, Bastila. It’s been a long time
coming, but there’s nothing that can be done for it anymore. I told your father to let me go, but he
wouldn’t listen. He was stubborn. Like you.”
There was no chastisement in her tone this time, just a fondness, both
for my father… and for me? This was too
much… First, my father and now my mother, after all these years of silence and
bitterness, was about to be taken from me as well.
I could
barely speak. “I’m so sorry,
mother. I don’t know what to say.”
She took
my hand and pulled me into a hug. The
move surprised me, and I didn’t resist.
She had never shown any sign of physical affection before; it was always
my father. Maybe she was right. Maybe I am remembering things the way I
wanted to. “Keep the holocron, Bastila. It would do me good to know you have it. This talking to you is what I really needed
before I...”
I was not
about to let her finish that sentence.
Returning her embrace, I just let my eyes close and savored the
moment. “I know. Thank you, mother. I’m glad we talked too.”
She was
the one to pull back first, wiping her eyes.
It seems we were more alike than I ever would have thought. “Now, you said you had important business,
and you were never one to mince words.”
She spun back around and gave Veran a stern look. “You there, you take good care of my
daughter, you hear me?”
Veran
cracked that lop-sided smile of his and said, “as if she’d let me.”
“Well you
make her let you. She’s too much like
her father in that respect.”
“The rest
she must get from you, “he said jovially.
“Where
are you going to go, mother?”
She
looked back to me, smiling. It was
probably the happiest I had ever seen her.
“It doesn’t matter, dear. Don’t
you worry about me.”
I took
her hand, pulled out my cred-stick and gave it to her. “Take this.
Its 5,000 credits. It should get
you to Coruscant. Find one of the best
hospitals. I’ll meet you there when all
this is over.”
Her eyes
widened. “Bastila, I already told you there’s nothing…”
“I want
you to take it, mother. I want to see
you again… when we can talk.” I squeezed
her hand shut over the chip and looked at her imploringly.
“Alright,
I will. Now you go do what you have to.
Make your father and I proud.”
She patted my hand and then slowly made her way back to her seat.
“I’ll
try, mother. Farewell.” And with that, Veran and I left the dimly lit
cantina and returned to the sun-drenched streets. He said nothing to me, the entire way back to
the Ebon Hawk. To be honest, I didn’t want to go back there
right then. I needed to be alone to
think, and the ship was far too crowded.
The only place for that was the desert, however, I did not want to do
this in the place of my father’s death.
As soon
as we got back on board, Veran called everyone together. “Okay guys.
I noticed a swoop race track right next to the local cantina, which is
filled with more than a few gamblers.
We’ve all been cooped up here long enough. Between these two places, we should all find
something to do to occupy our time. Take
a little time off. We leave in 6
hours. ALL of you, that means you too,
Jolee.” Carth, Canderous, and
As
everyone moved to the landing ramp, he looked straight at me. “Everyone but you, Bastila. Someone needs to be on the ship, and since
you’ve spent as much time off-ship as I have, you’re nominated. Don’t worry; I’ll look after the kids.” I was about to protest when I saw the
sympathetic look in his eyes, contrasting that smirk, and I realized. He was clearing the ship for me. Once again, he knew what I needed, and
offered it without protest. He arranged
this entire “shore leave” scenario just to earn me a few hours privacy. He
turned and followed the others off the ramp, but he turned and looked back at
me as he walked away. He stopped and
smiled. Not the lop-sided grin I was
used to seeing, but a genuine smile. He
held my gaze for a moment, and then he turned and caught back up with the
others.
I watched
him walk away before going into the ship to meditate on all that has happened
to me. By the time they came back, I was
through with my meditation and reflection.
I was waiting at the base of the landing ramp for them as they started
to file in. They all gave me an odd
look, except for Jolee, when they walked by.
It took me a moment to realize it was because I was smiling. I suppose I didn’t smile enough. It was the weight of the mission, both
watching Revan and searching for the Star Map.
But
during my introspection, I had realized something: I was not the shepherd. He was going along just fine on his own. If anything, he was helping me. He was selfless and brave, if a bit foolhardy
at times, and certainly headstrong.
There was a sense of caring about him.
He gave without any thought of reward.
If he was bold, it was only because he wanted to do everything in his
power to help. While I had seen moments
of anger in him, they seemed to just pass through him like the wind through the
trees since his all-too-brief training on Dantooine. He seemed so at ease with the passions I
fought so hard to control. Despite
appearances, it was not emotional impulsiveness that he followed, but his own
instincts, and isn’t that what a Jedi strives to do?
I could
see now, that if it had not been for him, I would never have reconciled with my
mother. He was a better Jedi than I;
there was no shame in admitting it. It
was the truth, and I admired him for it.
Once, I would have been envious, but not anymore. Revan may have been an evil man, but this new
person in front of me could not be the Dark Lord. He had all of Revan’s potential, power, and
charisma, but whatever demons drove him into darkness did not exist in Veran
Shadowfyre. I did not know where Veran
came from, but I was glad he existed. It
made me wish Jedi were allowed to form attachments, but that could never
be. The Council would forbid it, no matter
how much I desired it. Besides, I had no
idea if he felt the same. He was just as
patient with Juhani and as kind with
“Well,
you certainly seem in a good mood. Feel
better?” He walked up and rested his
elbow against one of the landing struts.
“Yes, it
brought me peace, more than I would have thought possible. Thank you for urging me towards it.” I’m not sure what possessed me in that moment,
but I reached out and took his free hand, squeezing gently before letting it go
again as quickly as I had taken it.
“After all my training, I thought it would have been easier. I apparently still have much to learn.”
“We only
stop learning when we’re dead, Bastila.
Learning is a part of life. Come
on. Two down, two to go,” he said as he
flashed me that grin of his. Without a
word, I followed him back up the ramp.
Yes, there would time enough to sort out all my personal feelings
later. I took the co-pilot chair next to
Carth as Veran laid in a course for our next stop: Manaan.
The
hyperspace journey to Manaan was only a few days in length, so I made it a
point to spend more time with Veran and the others. I found myself becoming rather fond of Carth
and
Canderous
was as irascible as ever, but he seemed oddly at home here. I could only assume he missed the clan
lifestyle of the Mandalorians before they were scattered at the end of the
war. Apparently this eclectic assortment
of beings was filling a need within him, and I wondered if he was consciously
aware of it. Strangely, while I found
his normal attitude unbearable, I could empathize with him. In many ways this ship and her crew had become
a surrogate family to me, even more than the Jedi Order.
Still,
there was one task I needed to take care of.
I found Veran at the helm, monitoring ship systems. He didn’t turn around at first, so I took the
co-pilot seat next to him. He looked
over at me from the datapad he had been reading and set it down. “You look like you have something to say.”
I nodded
once and turned to face him directly.
The only way I was going to get through this was to be blunt. “I do.
I have been trying to come up with the best way to do this for some
time. I suppose I should just come out
and say it. I have come to depend on
you, not just for the mission, but for my sake as well. I am… I am glad you are with us.” I willed myself to maintain eye contact. I was not going to act like a schoolgirl with
a crush.
His mouth
began to form that smile of his. “What
was that? I think I’m going deaf. Could you say that again?”
I
chuckled lightly and brushed a lock of hair back behind my ear. “Now you are teasing me. You know very well what I said.”
“I’m just
still reeling from the shock of it,” he joked as he leaned back into his
seat. “Was that a compliment?”
I looked
at him with mock indignation. “Well
yes. Surely it’s not so surprising.”
“You just
sounded so pained to say it,” he said as his smirk grew larger.
“Did
I? I am trying to be sincere here. It occurs to me that I may have been too hard
on you, too demanding and too critical at times.”
“Thank
you, I appreciate the gesture.”
I sat
back myself, feeling a bit more at ease about things now. “I know my manner can be a bit… taciturn. I know you must be getting sick of my
lectures about the Dark Side and… everything else. All my life, I was hounded by my instructors,
always being told how gifted and important I was until I was sick of it. I remember when I was younger, swearing I
would never be as self-absorbed or as stodgy as the Jedi Masters. It’s ironic, really.”
The smirk
returned as he said, “don’t forget edgy, critical, and overly secretive.”
I gave
him a glare I didn’t really feel. “Yes,
well there’s no need to agree so wholeheartedly. Being controlled has kept everyone at arm’s
length; even those such as yourself who need my understanding and
compassion. It’s time to change all
that. I wanted to tell you how much I
admire and respect you. I had to tell
you how much I care about you.” I hadn’t
meant to add that last part, but it was so good to just relax and be
myself. Blast it! I quickly added, “As a friend, of
course.” I ran through every control
technique I could to keep from blushing.
He made
no sign of noticing my slip. He just
smiled warmly at me and said, “I’m glad you did.”
Having
narrowly missed the blaster shot on that, I stood up to go. “Well that was not nearly as hard as I had
feared. Thank you. I feel… I feel much better. There’s been enough soul-searching for one
day. I believe we’ll be arriving at
Manaan within the hour.”
Veran
nodded once and turned back to the pilot console. Yes, I did feel much better.
* * *
Upon our
arrival at the water world, Veran and I had yet another shared vision of the
Star Map. This one appeared to be
beneath the huge ocean that covered the surface of the world. This would undoubtedly make things difficult. It would seem that we would be spending a
fair bit of time on Manaan, much longer than the two days apiece spent on
Kashyyyk and Tatooine.
Veran
made an announcement to the crew. “Okay,
people. We’ve been living together on
this tiny ship for almost a month. Over
two months for those of you who were with us on Dantooine. Manaan is the first civilized world we’ve
visited in a while, and
“And how
are we going to pay for this decadence, Padawan? The Order did not give us a lot of spare
credits to throw around.” Juhani cut in,
sternly. “We should not spend what
little money we have so frivolously.”
“The
Order didn’t, but Motta the Hutt’s swoop track on Tatooine did; at least for
their top-timed racer.” With that, he
pulled out a cred-stick which he claimed was valued at several thousand
credits. That put Juhani’s fears at
ease. It would seem I missed some fun
while I stayed behind on the Hawk
sorting out all that happened between mother and me.
Carth
looked a little reluctant. “Are you sure
it’s wise to leave the ship unattended?”
He had grown rather fond of the Ebon
Hawk. Of course, I also don’t think
he liked relaxing on any world where the Sith were so near, and who could blame
him?
“Well if
the Sith do try anything, they risk having their kolto exports decreased or
stopped altogether. You’re right though,
Carth. We shouldn’t leave the ship
unguarded. HK-47 and T3-M4 will remain
about the Hawk as security. You guys have a problem with that?”
“Response: Negative, Master. I find the presence of amphibian meatbags
even more unpleasant that mammalian ones.
Their language is an offense to my audio-receptors. Are you sure I cannot kill anything while
here, Master?” The crimson droid
disturbed me, but Veran merely chuckled at its bloodlust.
“Yes, I’m
sure, HK. You do have permission to
vaporize anyone who tries to force their way onboard. Do give them one warning, first though. Regardless, I promise, if there is any
killing to be done on Manaan, I’ll be sure to call you.”
“Exclamation: Oh, thank you, Master! I’ve found our recent ventures to be
disappointingly pacifistic. I can feel
my actuators rusting with inactivity.”
“Well we
can’t have that, now can we? Okay
people, gather your gear. Consider this
a working holiday.” His mood was
definitely jovial as we gathered our possessions. Maybe our talk had a positive effect on him
as well.
Securing
lodgings proved more difficult. One of
the major hotels was shut down due to a murder of a Sith woman named
Elassa. The accused was an old companion
of Jolee’s named Sunry. Jolee
immediately went down to the
Veran
mentioned that there was a much more up-scale swoop track on the eastern side
of
I
suggested to Veran as the others left that we should at least check in with the
Republic embassy and make some inquiries about underwater ruins. He said he would, but first he wanted to try
out the swoop track. I shook my head in
disbelief. Here we were on an important
mission, and he wanted to race. He was
right, though, in a way. We all needed
to unwind, and the few hours the others had on Tatooine just did not suffice in
that regard. A week ago, I would have
lectured him on the importance of our mission.
It was ironic that even though I was supposed to be guiding him, it
seemed more and more that the reverse was true.
Veran
stopped in the middle of one of the labyrinthine corridors. “Curious about something, Bas… Bastila?” He actually corrected himself from using that
pet name. I was impressed. I had noticed that his attempts of humor at
my expense at me had been decreasing since Tatooine.
“Am I
that transparent? I suppose I should not
be surprised, considering our bond.
There is something I would like to ask, if you’d permit it.”
He folded
his arms over his chest and tried his best to look serious, but it didn’t quite
succeed. “Go ahead.”
“In our
time together, I’ve been watching you.
You are a true servant of the Light; you follow the tenets of the Jedi
Order despite the temptations of the Dark Side, and with so little
training.” I couldn’t help but let a
hint of admiration slip into my voice.
“For me, it has always been a constant battle. Don’t you find it
difficult at all? You make it seem so
easy. Or is that only an illusion?”
He looked
down at his feet and shuffled them about before answering. “It has difficult for me as well. Not in the decision-making but afterwards. As a scout, I’m used to making decisions, but
only for myself. Now it seems I have to
look out for 8 other beings, as well as help shoulder the weight of the galaxy. My slightest decision could have disastrous
consequences for those I care about. I
lie awake at night, wondering if there was a better way to do something. The council is right about one thing at
least: I am too impulsive. Mostly, I
think I’ve just been lucky.”
A wan
smile slowly spread across my face.
“There is no luck, there is only the Force. You don’t give yourself enough credit. I am glad to hear that though. Not that you have doubts, I mean, but that
I’m not the only one. I’ve always
struggled for control over my passions.
I’m too quick to anger, too quick to act. My instructors have constantly berated me for
it.”
I leaned
back against the opposite wall, mirroring his posture. “I have often dreamed of confronting Darth
Malak and using all my power to destroy him and stop the evil of the Sith. I just think about all the evil that the Sith
have caused and I… I … get so furious!”
I let my hands clench. “Yet we
are told such feelings are the path to the Dark Side.”
Veran
looked back up at me. “You would not be
alone in that fantasy. It would seem we
both have our demons to face, then.”
I just
sagged against the wall. I had never
been able to talk about things like this with the masters on Dantooine. It was so good to just let these things out,
to have a kindred spirit, as it were. “I
suppose we do. Part of me thinks it
would be worth anything to vanquish evil, even if it meant giving in to my
baser emotions. The very thought that I
could become as evil as Malak; I just can’t fathom it. How could I…”
Suddenly, I realized what I was saying and who I was saying it to. I almost kicked myself for being so foolish,
shaking my head; I knew I had to stop this immediately. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t be asking you this. The Jedi teachings are clear; who am I to
question to them? Even worse, who am I
to try and make you question them?”
Veran looked at me, his confusion obvious in his eyes. He had long argued that questioning was a
good thing. He should have been the
perfect person to discuss this with. But
I couldn’t, not with him. I couldn’t
take even the slightest chance I might inadvertently lead him down that “all
too familiar path” as Master Vrook called it.
“These
are dangerous thoughts, the indulgence of a vain mind. Please, forget I ever mentioned this. Let’s just have the evening out you
wanted.”
Thankfully,
Veran let the subject drop for the time being.
Before we could reach the swoop track, his com-link buzzed. It was Jolee.
“I could use your help, both of you.
Something odd is going on with this murder case. Sunry needs an arbiter, and I don’t think I’m
the best choice in this case. Come on
down to the jail and see for yourself.”
* * *
The case
of Sunry in the murder of Elassa was quite complicated. It would sidetrack this entire entry to delve
into the full details of it, so I will try and surmise as best I can. Sunry was an old, handicapped war veteran who
was having an affair with a Sith woman named Elassa. Why he thought a young Sith woman would be
interested in him for anything other than information is quite beyond me. Men seem to have little ability to think once
their hormones become involved.
The woman
was found dead in her hotel room, and Sunry was seen leaving the scene. A war medal was found clutched in the dead
woman’s hand. Sunry claimed he met with
her at the hotel to end the affair, realizing he was being used. According to his story, the Sith killed her
for losing a source, and were framing him to discredit the Republic. It would certainly have been in character for
them.
Our initial investigation uncovered that one of the witnesses had been bribed
to plant Sunry’s medallion after Sunry fled the scene. Another witness confessed to having seen
Elassa carry a lightsaber, marking her as a Dark Jedi, if not a full Sith. It seemed unlikely such an old man could have
killed her. I felt Jolee would have his
friend acquitted in no time.
Things
became more interesting as we left the scene of the crime. A strange man approached us, hinting that the
whole case was merely a microcosm of the struggle between the Republic and
Sith, and that we should not take anything at face value. Normally, I would have dismissed such cryptic
advice from a total stranger, but a stirring in the Force told me, as well as
Jolee and Veran, that something more was going on here.
We then
proceeded to the far side of
When
confronted with this information, Sunry confessed, to us anyway, to committing
the crime in an act of rage, upon learning he was only being used for
information. He then went to Republic
Intelligence to cover things up, because he knew the Sith would use the crime
to have severe kolto sanctions placed on the Republic, which would be
disastrous. He argued this was the very
reason he could not come forward and admit his guilt.
It was a
tenuous position, and Veran was obviously torn by what to do. He turned to Jolee and I for help. The aging Jedi seemed depressed to learn that
his friend had murdered someone in cold blood.
Even I was hard-pressed to give a quick answer. Sunry should be exposed, as we Jedi were
obligated to uphold justice. We were
also the defenders of the Republic, and this incident could cost us the war.
In the
end, Veran chose to defend Sunry. I
could not help but notice that at no point did he ever call Sunry innocent, nor
did he lie about any evidence. He merely
exposed the Sith attempt to undo R.I.’s clean-up job. Sunry was found not guilty and released with
a 3-2 vote between the judges. Veran did
not seem pleased by the result, and as we left the trial chamber, he was
brooding heavily. Jolee was also
inconsolable, and traveling with the two of them was a rather somber affair for
the time for the rest of the day.
* * *
We went
back to the hotel, and met up with the others.
Veran unveiled what he had learned so far, about the Sith activities, as
well as the Sunry case. Carth and
Canderous had tales of both sides hiring an insanely large number of
mercenaries. They were also approached
by a Selkath named Shaelas, about the disappearance of Selkath youths. Shaelas suspected the Sith and wanted their
embassy investigated. Once again,
everything seemed to be falling into place.
The only
decision left concerned who was to enter the Embassy. Veran insisted he and HK-47 should go, after
all, he had promised. I was not about to
be left out this time, pointing out what happened the last time they went into
a Sith base without me. Carth again
spoke out that I was the one with the bounty on my head. “Perhaps, but as you pointed out, they have
probably already seen me. They can do
nothing overt while we are within the Selkath’s jurisdiction. I am going, and that is the end.”
Carth
backed down, and Veran nodded once to signal the discussion closed. We called HK-47 to meet us in the Eastern
Courtyard, and from there, we proceeded to the Embassy. The guard at the entrance barely paid
attention to us. He looked up long
enough to check our ID cards, but Veran’s slice job held up to scrutiny and we
were in. One turbolift ride later, and
we were into the military section. There
the Force seemed to turn against us, as the female officer manning that
checkpoint was much more attentive. She
recognized me immediately, and called down the upper levels guards.
The
entire complex was on alert, and we fought a running battle the entire
way. HK-47 handled the other droids,
while Veran and I cut down the troops as we encountered them. There was also a high number of Force-trained
Sith in the base as well. After
retrieving the data for Roland Wann, we proceeded into a highly restricted area
of the embassy, where we located Selkath youth being trained in the Sith ways.
Shaelas’
daughter Shasa was their spokesman, and she did not believe us when we tried to
explain how the Sith were deceiving them.
Veran managed to persuade them to give us a chance to prove ourselves
before calling down the rest of the guards.
We confronted their Sith master as well as a handful of Selkath apprentices
who weren’t so open-minded. Between
Veran and myself, we made swift work of the Sith master. Unfortunately his apprentices would not
surrender and HK-47 dispensed with them, much to his pleasure no doubt.
Among the
master’s effects, we found a datapad outlining their plans for the Selkath
youths; it was basically a long-term plan to corrupt the next generation of
Selkath leaders and instigate what would appear to be an internal political
coup on the planet. When presented with
this data, Shasa persuaded her fellows to leave with her and report to the
authorities all that had transpired here.
It was
fortunate for us that they were willing to do so. The
We took
the droid data back to Roland Wann, who explained why the Republic had been
hiring mercenaries. Apparently, they had
been constructing a kolto harvesting station down near the Hrakert Rift with
position from elements within the Selkath government. This was a secret pact, which would have
essentially negated Manaan’s claims of neutrality. They lost contact with the station a week
ago, and the mercenaries they were hiring were sent down to investigate. None had returned.
Wann was
willing to provide us with a craft to explore the ocean’s surface, provided we
were willing to investigate the station for them. It seemed we were again expected to clean up
after a Republic operation fell apart. I
couldn’t help but wonder if we Jedi did not spend more time saving the Republic
from itself than we did from enemies.
When I asked how this would help us find our Star Map, he replied that
some odd ruins had been uncovered near the station when construction began on
the harvester unit.
The
station itself was like something out of a bad holo-vid. Something had driven the Selkath researchers
mad, as well as the firaxan sharks out in the water. They turned on their human compatriots and
the place was a charnel house. A
deranged scientist who locked himself in a locker told us all this. Once again, the Star Map was near the cause
of some kind of evil event or monstrous mutation. I knew there were no coincidences, but there
were rare occasions when I thought the Force was stretching probability a
little too far.
The only
route to that area was to walk through the firaxan infested waters. After a thorough search of the facility, we
managed to locate some kind of sonic device that was intended to kill them, but
there was only one working pressure suit.
I knew the Star Map would likely only respond to Veran, so he had to be
the one to go, though HK-47 protested vehemently that he should be allowed to
accompany him, but an order from Veran silenced him.
He was
gone for over an hour. I paced nervously
while HK-47 watched on. I knew it was
silly, but I couldn’t help myself. My
reverie was interrupted by my unwanted companion. “Query:
Why do you pace so relentlessly?
Either the master will return or he will not. Repetitious walking will not change the
result.” I just ignored him, and he
asked nothing else. Of all the company
in the galaxy, why did I have to be stuck with an assassin droid?
I didn’t
answer the droid, because I was still uncomfortable with the answer myself,
even though I had begun to realize it back on Tatooine. I was frightened he would not come back,
because I cared for him in a way that went beyond friendship, and that overrode
logic and training. Jolee was right; all
the decrees in the world couldn’t change what I felt. But what could I do?
About 40
minutes after Veran left me, we could feel the rumble of an explosion outside
in the seabed. I feared the worst, but
willed myself back under control as best I could. Our bond was still intact. If he died, I would know it. I was being irrational. This time, my attempts to center myself
succeeded and I brought my heart rate back down.
Obviously,
he did return, safe and well shortly thereafter. He explained that he triggered the explosion
to destroy the harvester machinery.
Apparently the Republic scientists had awoken a giant firaxan, possibly
prehistoric in nature. According to a
few stranded scientists he found, the beast’s awakening coincided with the
outbreak of madness in the station and the surrounding waters. It was attacking the machinery, and he
calculated removing the giant construct would quiet it down. He gamble was correct, and with his victory,
he gained access to the Star Map which lay in a small submerged stone circle,
near the edge of the Rift.
I was
eager to look the data over, but he said that two sectors on it were still
damaged, and that nothing important had been gleaned from this one. The one on Korriban was our last hope to find
a location for the Star Forge. We tried
to return to the sub when we were ambushed by a pair of Sith assassins, this
time led by the Dark Lord’s own apprentice, Darth Bandon.
Bandon
was a former Jedi who followed Revan and Malak to war against the
Mandalorians. To his credit, Bandon did
not preen and posture the way Calo had.
He and his two assistants attacked us as soon as we opened the doors to
the sub bay. With a twist of the Force,
Bandon disabled HK-47 and moved in to attack me. The other two flanked Veran,
who pulled out his spare lightsaber and slid into a defensive style I had not
seen him use since Bendak Starkiller.
I could
not afford to pay too much attention to his battle prowess at the moment. The pale figure sported a goatee similar to
Jolee’s, was tall in height, and wore a set of black armor, lined with a
cortosis weave to make it lightsaber resistant from the way a glancing blow to
his chest just slid off it. Malak took
him as his chief apprentice after he betrayed Revan, and took the title of “master”
for himself. I could not let my
attention waver from him for one second.
I had little doubt Veran could handle two Dark Jedi by himself.
“At last,
my search is over! I was beginning to
think someone else had killed you and deprived me of the pleasure!” It seemed Bandon could not resist gloating
during a battle however. We both used
double-bladed lightsabers, and as we danced around each other, my golden blade
clashing with his crimson one. “You will
not dispatch me as easily as you did that fool bounty hunter. I have studied at the feet of the Dark Lord
himself!”
“You’re
Malak’s apprentice? I can’t say I’m
impressed.” I let just enough of a sneer
into my tone, as I knocked aside an underhanded slash with an almost apathetic
parry. It seems my “Jedi princess”
persona, as Canderous called it, did have its uses after all. I knew such an arrogant man would lose his
temper and attempt to salve his wounded pride.
I did not
have to wait to be proven correct. His
face twisted into snarl. “Your words
mean nothing to me, unless you wish to beg for your life! No?
Then I shall make this slow and painful!” With that, he executed a series of rapid
strikes, twisting and spinning his blade, trying to score on my appendages,
crippling me.
I
appeared to fall back against his onslaught, letting him think he was
winning. He took the bait, and brought
his blade up into a showy overhead spin, intending to suddenly shift into a
downward slash, finishing me. I did not
give him the opportunity; as he twirled his blade, I dropped to one knee, and
with one smooth slice, I cut his legs out from under him. Bandon fell crashing to the floor,
screaming. I took no small amount of
pleasure from standing up, executing my own overheard twirl and stabbing my
saber blade down into his chest, ending his suffering. The galaxy would not miss such a man.
I heard
applause behind me, and turned to find Veran standing there, his lightsabers on
his belt. As I knew, the two Sith
apprentices lay dead on the floor.
“Magnificent piece of work. I
really should take you dancing sometime.
That style of yours would have many less practical applications.” There was a gleam of mischief in his eyes,
but I chose to ignore it. I would not be
baited as easily as Bandon had been. I
did give him a smile though. “Perhaps. Let us get HK back up and running. We should be going.” One restart later, and we were on our way.
We
returned to the surface, where we were once again taken before the Selkath
court. We were forced to reveal the
Republic’s treaty with the Selkath, much to the shock of several judges. Fortunately, the chief judge was already
aware of the agreement, and quieted the protests from his fellows. We were thanked for sparing the giant shark,
which they called the Progenitor and released.
A strange business, when one stops to look back on it all, as I am now.
* * *
Our task
on Manaan was complete, but we could not yet leave. All the various revelations and
investigations had forced the
With no
complaints, we all saw this as an opportunity to unwind without any sort of
pressure. The Sith were quarantined in
their embassy until such time as they were allowed to leave. We had 3 of the 4 Star Maps that we knew
existed, and this slight delay was out of our hands. Even the Council could not fault us for our
extended stay. The others went off and
did whatever it was they liked. I think
we were all relieved to have some time to ourselves.
Veran
went swoop-racing, and I decided to follow him.
It was his skill with a swoop that enabled him to win the Taris Open in
his foolhardy attempt to rescue me, but I was not cognizant enough at the time
to appreciate his skill, and it was his giving me an opportunity for solitude
and reflection that let him race on Tatooine.
I decided I wanted to watch him at this… hobby of his. He seemed to enjoy it, though when I asked
him why, he would just make some comment about, “it’s a male thing.” I would remind him that there were plenty of
female swoop jockeys as well, but he seemingly dismissed my comments out of
hand. Male, indeed.
To all
the other racers’ surprise, Veran won the Sector Championship easily. I suspect if they knew he was a Jedi, they
may have banned him from participating.
He was feeling insufferably pleased with himself afterwards and insisted
on taking me to dinner to celebrate. He
found this little restaurant, away from the bustle of the Visitor’s Quarter of
Ahto City. Manaan food, while delicious
to the Selkath, was distinctly less popular with their off-world guests. A Twi’lek had opened a restaurant catering to
the tastes of off-worlders, and it was quite good. During dinner, however, Veran decided to go
back to our last conversation.
“I wanted
to ask you, about what you said before.
You cut off rather abruptly.” He
said nonchalantly, as he cut into his meal.
I tried
to shrug off the comment with the same casualness. “Yes, I did, didn’t I? Perhaps a Master could have properly
addressed my questions, but I should not have brought them up with you. I don’t think I am the proper Jedi to guide
you.”
That
caught his attention. “Why do you say
that?”
I met his
gaze, and tried to smile. “The fact of
the matter is that I’ve never been very good at controlling myself. With the bond that joins us, it seems I have
even less. You have maintained the path
of the light despite my influence, not because of it. It has become increasingly clear that I am
not the one to guide you.”
Placing
his utensils down, he sat back in his chair, his face had become unreadable. He
was guarding himself. Why? I had finally said too much. It was not proper for a Jedi to show such
weakness, and I had finally gone too far.
“So what now?”
“I don’t
know. I think…. I think I may have made
a very big mistake. I only hope you
aren’t the one to pay the price for my failings.”
“Maybe we
could help each other, then.” Laughing
lightly, he added, “you think I don’t have my faults? Let me tell you a secret: the key to being a great friend or leader or
whatever is knowing how to look like you know exactly what you’re doing, even
when you don’t have a clue. There are
times when I’ve been flying blind on this mission, with no idea if what I was
doing was right or wrong.”
He leaned
forward, lowering his voice, as to keep the rest of the patrons from
over-hearing. “Take the Sunry case, for
one, or destroying the kolto harvester.
I have been on edge of vomiting more times than I’d like to think since
we started out on this mission, never sure if this decision was going to be the
one where I’d reveal that I’m not the ‘ gifted prodigy’ everyone seems to think
I am. The only thing that has kept me
from second-guessing myself into insanity is I knew that you’d be there to
bring me slap me back to reality if I went too far. You’ve been the staff I could lean on during
this quest. I couldn’t have done this
without you.”
“That’s a
kinder answer than I deserve, and I am honored you think of me I in such a
way.” Inside, I was stunned by his
answer. I never suspected he felt this
way. Once again, I was trying to keep
him at a distance, confessing my sins and flaws, expecting him to reject me or
chastise me, and instead he offered nothing but acceptance, never judging. “You
continue to be there for me, don’t you?
Even though I keep pushing you away, you’re still around when I need you
the most. You are like no man I have
ever known before, and you’re nothing like I expected you to be after…”
Sithspit! “After the Council sent us on
this mission together.”
His brow
furrowed, and he gave me a probing look, as if trying to read my mind. He wasn’t, of course, I would have felt the
touch of the Force through our bond.
“How did you expect me to be? I
realize we didn’t really get off on the right foot, back on Taris, but I
couldn’t have made that bad a first impression.”
I
stammered a reply. The Jedi Masters may have excelled at misdirection, but it
was a talent I obviously lacked. “No,
no, it wasn’t that. You were just…
different, I suppose. Oh, I feel like a
fool trying to explain this. Things are
not going as I had planned. I… I need
time to think about all this. We should
finish eating before our food gets cold.
We paid enough for it.”
Veran
opened his mouth as if he were about to argue, but he closed it instead, and
went back to his Alderaanian steak. The
awkward silence continued for the rest of the evening, while I sat and brooded
over everything, poking at the pasta I had ordered. In the end, I knew there could be only one
decision.
We left
the restaurant at a late hour.
Eventually we moved past our awkward silence and moved to topics like
HK-47’s revelations about his former masters, and Jolee’s long and rambling tales. I told him about my father and some of the
pranks he used to play on me as a child.
We spent the evening recounting some of the more amusing and
embarrassing moments of our journey together, and for a while, I forgot all the
things were supposed to be plaguing me.
The maitre’d came up and had to ask us to leave as the restaurant was
closing up around us. Neither of us had
realized we had been there so long.
Walking
the corridors of Ahto City back to our hotel, Veran stopped me and led me over
to one railings of one of the large open areas, allowing for a view of Manaan’s
ocean. “By the Force, that’s
beautiful.” The silver moon played out
over the rippling water. The winds were
calm and so was the sea. There were only a few misty wisps of cloud in the sky,
and the stars shown clearly. It was a
simple, but breathtaking sight.
We just
stood there, for the next hour, just staring at the stars and at the sea, not
saying a word, just enjoying the moment.
We hadn’t been alone like this since that night on Dantooine. We were standing so close together I could
feel the warmth from his body. When I
felt him place a hand on my waist, I knew I had to tell him. “I told you I needed time to think. Well I have been thinking, and you deserve an
answer.” I felt him stiffen next to me
and his hand pulled back.
“You have
been more than patient with me, so I will be direct, but you have to understand
how difficult this is for me.” I did not
give him a chance to respond, continuing hurriedly. “With all my training, I should be able to
control myself better than this, but you’re not like anything I had
expected. You are like no man I have
ever known.” I moved back and gripped
the railing for support. “I find myself
watching you when I don’t mean to; thinking about you when I don’t want
to. It’s not supposed to be like this!”
Veran
just stood there in the same spot, his face passive, eyes unreadable. With a calm, carefully measured voice, he
asked, “what’s it supposed to be like, then?”
This was
so frustrating! Here I was, a Jedi since
the age of 5, and I was having to stammer out my feelings like a teenage girl
with her first crush. In retrospect,
that’s exactly what I was, but feeling that way didn’t make it any easier. “I don’t know! It shouldn’t be so hard not to think of
you! I should have discipline! Jedi discipline!” My voice was growing too loud, but I didn’t
care. Thankfully the streets were empty
of almost all but droids and the occasional guard patrol.
“Every
time I try to draw upon my teachings to calm myself, they fail me! You have such power, such passion! I don’t’ know if it is because of our bond,
but I am drawn to you! It could be
simply the bond. It does lend us a
certain… intimacy of thought and feeling.
If I could, I would return to Dantooine.
I need to be away from this bond of ours. I need to weaken it. I need to be anywhere but near you!” I put all the weight I could on that last
word, driving it home, like some kind of accusation.
His face
remained stony and silent. I did not
know what hurt worse, what I was saying or the look in his eyes as I said
it. “This is not the place for
this. If you wish to truly have this all
out and in the open, then we should return to the Ebon Hawk.” I could not let
the others see what was transpiring, for both our sakes. He just nodded once, stepped aside and
gestured for me to lead the way.
* * *
Back on
the ship, we went back into the men’s dormitory. He set HK-47 to stand guard at the base of
the ramp, and put T3-M4 into a diagnostic mode.
Finally alone, I knew it was time to finish this, so I steeled my
resolve. “You’re stronger than I am;
there’s no point in denying it. You make me feel weak, like I’m caught up in
the wake of our destiny. And yet, at the
same time you make feel stronger, more alive.”
The wall
he had built up around him started to wear thin. I could feel the faintest hint of pain, both
in his eyes and through our bond. “As do
I,” he muttered softly.
I tried
to explain things as best I could. He didn’t
grow up in this lifestyle. I knew it
would be more difficult for him. “I
realize now these feelings are a result of the bond we share. With such a connection we could not help but
be drawn to each other, and the Council must have known this. They knew my loyalty to the doctrines of the
Order would be tested by this experience.
By facing and overcoming my feelings for you, I have learned a valuable
lesson about emotional control, which is something I have long needed to
learn. This has been a great step in my
understanding of the Force.”
I looked
down at the floor, unable to meet his eyes.
“I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but I felt it was important
that you know our… infatuation… was nothing more than a result of our powerful
bond.”
“So I was
just another stepping stone on your path to becoming a Jedi Master?” There was such… venom in his voice. The bond dampened down, and I knew he was
angry. Yes, this was the right
decision. Love itself is not of the Dark
Side, but all the other emotions that come from it were too dangerous for a
Jedi. This hurt me as much as him, but I
had to press on.
“Please
don’t say it like that! You make it
sound like I was using you! Don’t you
realize how difficult this is for me?” I
looked back up, letting the pain show in my eyes. Maybe he would see that I was not as
heartless as he was accusing me of being.
He threw
up his arms in disgust, his voice rising to fill the small dormitory. “For you?
What about for me?” Force, woman,
I can feel you in my head, day in and day out!
Everything that hurts you hurts me.
I try not to let on, because you obviously value your privacy, and I did
my best to shield it out, but you think my passions are strong? You’re one to talk, sister!”
His anger
fed my own inner turmoil and I lashed back at him. “Why do you think I came to this
decision? I know how hard this is for
both of us. That’s why I had to be the
one to step forward and do the right thing!
You’re the one who can’t face the truth.
We have to stop Darth Malak, and we can’t do that if we’re… fawning over
each other like a couple of adolescents!”
He
stalked towards me and for a moment I was afraid the Dark Side had taken him
and he meant to try and harm me. “I
don’t care. I’m going to stop Malak, and
I want you by my side. I need you by my
side.” He just stared down into my eyes,
letting all the walls drop. I could feel
the longing, the frustration, and the love within him. All those things, light and dark, spun within
him, and it frightened me just a little bit, but I couldn’t move away from
him.
Our eyes
were locked and it was if I was entranced, yet I did not feel the touch of the
Force upon my mind. “You mean it don’t
you? But how can I be sure you aren’t
making a mistake? You said it
yourself… No, I must be strong enough
for the both of us. I must resist
this.” And yet, I still couldn’t look
away.
His voice
lowered to barely a whisper, and it once again held that softness I first heard
on Tatooine I was torn between my feelings for my parents. “You know I’m right, Bastila.” When he leaned in to kiss me, I didn’t pull
back. Instead, I melted into the
embrace. For a brief second my only
thoughts were The council would forbid this! and To hell with the council in
rapid succession.
I slip my
arm around his neck and his found my waist.
I think he was surprised when I deepened our kiss. His hands slowly moved up my back, fingers
tracing my spine through my dueling leathers.
His mouth moved from mine, and slowly made its way down my neck, and
then back up, finding my ear. I gasped
at this sensation, and tried to imitate what he was doing to my back. I managed to whisper, “I’ve never done
anything like this before.”